Relationships aren’t meant to Make us Feel Whole.

We’ve been taught that the purpose of a romantic relationship is to make us happy — to find our better half.

While relationships are often a source of gratification, their actual purpose goes much deeper than this. I’ve realized that they’re not meant to make us feel whole; they’re meant to make us realize our innate wholeness.

You see, we’re all born complete. I’m convinced that the void we feel as adults wasn’t there at the moment of birth. But our childhood experiences, family, surroundings, society, and the media help shape our future conceptions. One of these is the belief that our happiness lies in something or someone else.

Consequently, we spend most of our lives thinking we are halves and pursuing what we believe will complete us. Romantic relationships have long been thought of as the perfect remedy for loneliness and dejection. We think they will put an end to this undeniable emptiness inside us and, at last, make us whole.

Then, when the euphoric phase ends and problems inevitably arise: we blame our partner, ourselves, or our luck. When things fall apart and we choose to stay, we get frustrated with our partner (and the relationship) and insist on getting what we desire. And if we choose to leave, we…