Beyond Patriarchy is Balance

The ever weaving dance of masculine and feminine

Hanna Maria
Mindfully Speaking
Published in
5 min readNov 11, 2020


Image: Ayesh Rathnayake

Anything in this world that is out of balance for too long will become sick. Chronic imbalance always brings dis-ease.

Life is a walk, a dance, a song of moving between balance and imbalance, between opposites that weave together to create balance. Constantly in movement.

Our current ‘modern’ lifestyle has been chronically imbalanced for a long time. That’s why so many of us are sick, depressed, traumatized, addicted, anxious, hungry, desperate, violent, lost, abused, exploited, etc. That’s why all Life on Earth is suffering. We got stuck in a paradigm that is unhealthy because it is totally imbalanced, wherever you look.

The natural intelligence of Life always weaves its tapestry of being and becoming with its masculine and feminine ‘threads’ equally. Woven together, they create balance and harmony.

Masculine and feminine do not have to do with man and woman; that’s important to remember. These opposite qualities or aspects of life are simply the ‘building blocks’ of Creation, present in all life forms and in men and women — while feminine qualities tend to be stronger in women and masculine qualities tend to be stronger in men.

We call our current paradigm ‘Patriarchy’. It is mainly based on and has mainly manifested the shadow aspects of the masculine, such as domination, control, fear of the unknown, disconnection, objectification, obsession with performance and profit, etc. Some of the healthy masculine qualities include problem solving/ wanting to be of help, logical thinking, curiosity, clarity, decisiveness, protectiveness, strong focus, directness, pure presence, activation.

Many mistake the masculine or men as being the root problem in today’s world. I disagree. The masculine is not the problem. Men are not the problem.

If we want to talk about ‘a problem’ at all (as from a wide ‘eagle view’ perspective on humanity, it simply is what it is, without having to be labelled a ‘problem’), it’s that we got stuck in a way of living, believing, thinking, acting, etc. that is very imbalanced and unhealthy. We got stuck in some ‘religion’ that is not life affirming, but made money and profit far more valuable than the well-being and happiness of all life on earth.

The one tragedy of patriarchy is that mainly its shadow has been embodied and lived out.
The other tragedy is that it excludes, misunderstands and often judges the feminine aspects of life and living — in education, in business and economy, in sexuality and relating, in leadership and politics, etc. These would be for example unconditional love (non-judgement), nurturing, holding, waiting (patience), receptivity, softness, intuition, living compassion, relaxation, interconnectedness, being OK with the unknown.

Both these tragedies together cause this crisis and imbalance that is busy destroying life on earth.

It’s a common misunderstanding that our current patriarchy is linked to men. It’s a common mis-assumption that a woman in power (within a patriarchal society) will bring something fundamentally different than patriarchal ideas, because she is a woman. We have been living patriarchy for thousands of years. This paradigm and map of acting and being has been embodied and internalised by men and women and even children. Every part of our society is soaked in it. It is beyond man and woman.

Another common mistake is to think that ‘feminism’ or ‘women in power’ is the answer. From my perspective, it is not. It is not about ‘the one or the other’. It is not about men and women. It is not about blaming men. It is not about women proving, they can ‘be like men’. It is not about ‘us and them’. The very concept of ‘us and them’ is born out of the shadow aspects of the masculine, as it wants to divide, judge and separate; the feminine embodies interconnectedness.

It is not helpful to blame (‘us and them’).
It is necessary to become aware, that how we live on earth is not working out so well for the well-being and happiness of the majority of people and life here.

I believe that being and manifesting more balance of masculine and feminine qualities of living, in oneself and through that in the world, is part of the path toward healthier life here for all.

We all do need the masculine qualities of life and living as much as we do need to re-integrate the feminine qualities. That is, if we are interested in moving forward into a life on earth of more equality, more well-being, more connection, more compassion, more forgiveness, more community, more happiness, more abundance for everyone. Only together can they create awesomeness and wholesomeness.

I believe that magic and well-being is possible if we live and embody more of the positive masculine qualities, weaving those together with the lost and forgotten feminine aspects of life and living.

I believe that magic and well-being is possible if we can remember that life always and forever needs both equally — the masculine and the feminine! These are the essential building blocks of birthing and manifesting truly wholesome life on earth.

As any shift in the world ‘out there’ always starts with the very personal shifts inside of you and me and in our own daily lives, I like to remember for myself simple ways in which to balance ‘being and doing’. It feels wonderful to integrate and weave more feminine threads and colours into my life. Changing the world, from the inside out.

Here is a simple little ‘poem’ as inspiration for returning to balance, again and again.

Let it be an exploration. Let it be a ‘dance’. Let it be fun.

The Dance of Balance

There’s a time to breathe in and a time to breathe out.

There’s a time for day and a time for night.

There’s a time to give and a time to take.

There’s a time for a hot bath and a time for a cold shower.

There’s a time to hold and a time to be held.

There’s a time to fall apart and a time to re-member.

There’s a time to just be and a time to create.

There’s a time to grieve and a time to laugh.

There’s a time to speak and a time to listen.

There’s a time to rise up and a time to lie back.

There’s a time to see and a time to be seen.

There’s a time to act and a time to be patient.

There’s a time to support and a time to be supported.

All is wanted.

All has a place.

All is needed

in the infinite intelligence of Life

weaving and unweaving itself,


Hanna Maria
Cape Town, South Africa



Hanna Maria
Mindfully Speaking

Deeply in love with nature and intrigued by our humanness, I like it simple, down to earth, heartful and honest.