My Patience Was Pushed to the Limit — Here’s How I Kept It Together Under Stress
Learn the Surprising Tricks I Used to Overcome Frustration and Find Inner Peace in Any Situation
How often do you find yourself in a situation that, for whatever reason, just isn’t going according to plan?
I know I have. In fact, I’m in one right now as I stand in line to check-in for an appointment that should have begun and ended more than an hour ago.
Sometimes, circumstances far from your control seem to pile up and you just can’t seem to get ahead.
If you recognize your frustration building, it is possible to detach from the situation and just observe it as it unfolds.
Reflection shows how common responses helped or hurt you in the outcome. With this knowledge, you can teach yourself how to respond appropriately.
Believe it or not, this is more common than you think, and most people experience a similar framework of steps as they work through the frustration.
Here’s what I’ve observed and how I work through it.
Unconscious Recognition
My agenda was already full today of donut/coffee trips, school runs, making my appointment, straightening up the house, and writing!
I had to do all this before getting ready and driving to work on time.
I woke up late, and as a result, the kids had to rush to get ready for school. They did great to make up for my irresponsibility.
When I finally made it to my appointment, the line was around the corner of others who also had appointments around the same time. They had overbooked themselves.
In addition to the scheduling error, they seemed to be behind the workload as there was no one seeing patients. The line was building and no one was being processed out.
I quickly became agitated with my own situation compounded with irrational complaints of others in the line.
This was my body’s autonomous response to an unfolding situation. It dumped chemicals into my brain to respond to stress in the only way it knows how.
I became worked up without even noticing. My heart rate rose, resulting in quicker, shallow breaths.
The lack of oxygen to my brain blocked my ability to think clearly and I began projecting my agitation onto those around me. The tension built, increasing the odds of additional stress if anyone was to respond to me.
Conscious Recognition
As I progressed through the line I rounded a corner to find about twenty others who had already checked in but hadn’t been seen.
I muttered an obscenity under my mask, just loud enough that the people around me could hear. I didn’t intend to offend them, but, out of frustration, I wasn’t too concerned about them anyway.
And then the catalyst.
A mom who was playing eye spy with her toddler was in earshot of my frustration. She responded very calmly by telling the baby how patient she was and how proud her mom was.
This snapped me back to reality.
For the first time, I started to observe my state. I recognized the shallow breaths and heart racing as well as my aggravation.
I also thought about how everyone else was in the same unfortunate situation as me, and that my thoughts and feelings weren’t their problems at all. They had their own frustration to deal with without me adding to the mess.
Conscious Response
I took action to control the physiological symptoms by taking a few deep breaths. This slowed my heart rate as my body was processing oxygen at a more efficient rate.
I put on a big fake smile underneath my mask until I felt the tension release from my face.
The smile remained but the deceit was gone.
I empathized with the others as they may be facing far worse consequences than just cutting into their me-time before work.
I realized that the reason I was upset was that I would have less time to write and that it was hardly life or death. Thinking clearly now, I figured out that I could take advantage of the waiting time to sit and write, right now.
And so here I am!
Reflection
It’s important to look back on any given situation and reflect on all aspects. You carry this experience forward with you to the next time your patience is tested.
With enough data in your bank you can identify what things set you off, and effective remedies for them.
In hindsight, I realize that the consequences of being a little late to write this morning were not worth the emotional weight I put on myself. I also recognize how much time and energy I wasted in my emotional response, that could have been spent writing as I waited.
These are two new tools in my tool bag, and I will pull them out to use as needed.
To Sum it Up
Everyone faces frustrating moments that can lead to regrettable responses. By being mindful of the signs, you can take steps to compose a more favorable response for yourself as well as others it may affect.
You have to be aware of the signals your mind and body give off when you’re irritated.
Find and implement steps to regulate this physiological response.
Once you’re thinking clearly, you can articulate your frustration in a more appropriate way and avoid a self-destructive response.
These tests of our patience are just that.
Tests.
A means of gauging our ability to handle deviations from the plan.
When you collect and analyze the data over time, the solutions will be simple.
Give it a shot next time your patience is tested.
