How to Mindfully Manage Your Feelings of Jealousy in Relationships
When we care about someone, it’s common to feel that they belong to us. At best, we refer to them as ours as an endearment. At worst, we take it to an unhealthy possessive and potentially abusive extreme. For most of us, the feeling of a person belonging to us comes out of our love for them, the intimacy we share, and the important role we play in each other’s lives.
From this sense of them being ours, it’s common to occasionally feel jealous of our partner’s ex(es). In relationships, we may feel jealous because we fear the ex-partner is somehow better than us, that our partner doesn’t love us as much as they did another, or that they are secretly carrying a flame for someone else.
This kind of jealous thinking can lead us into painful thought spirals accompanied by difficult emotions that undermine our confidence and the stability of our relationship. Jealousy is toxic. It erodes the jealous person’s confidence and trust in their partner and drives the partner away by causing them to feel scrutinized, defensive, and guarded.
Feelings of jealousy are related to a sense of inadequacy, low self-esteem, insecurity, and anxiety. They can be deeply rooted and difficult to overcome. The practice of mindfulness, which is to bring presence and non-judgmental awareness to our thoughts…
