Many of us are struggling with sleep these days. A side effect of COVID-19 and the political and social unrest in the U.S has resulted in another kind of pandemic: poor sleep and its consequences. There are some illnesses that can cause fatigue, so ruling out a medical issue that needs a doctor’s attention, other common causes of poor sleep are: ✔Stress ✔Anxiety ✔Diet ✔Alcohol ✔Screen usage ✔Lack of physical activity ✔Environmental disturbances If just looking at the list feels irritating or overwhelming, my first suggestion is to apply self-compassion by acknowledging that what we’re experiencing is difficult and that…

Many of us have embraced the notion that if we’re unhappy with our relationships it’s because we’re attracting the wrong people. This is especially likely if we identify an unhealthy pattern in behavior or personality related to our relationships. However, there’s always a pattern and whether healthy or unhealthy, the pattern serves the same purpose: to support our growth and wellbeing. Yes, even unhealthy patterns can support us. I’ll explain how later.

First, I want to dismantle once and for all the idea that we attract the wrong partners. I’m going to take this idea apart word for word, beginning…

There is no such thing as something being “just about politics.” Politics are not divorced from the rest of our experience. The political is personal and the personal is political. If you’re not sure about this, then let me point out how women’s bodies, which are intensely personal to the women who inhabit them, are political objects; and how equal access to quality education is dependent on your socio-economic status, which is tied to your race and ethnicity, which is connected to your access to high-quality and respectful heath care and on and on and on. Each of these facets…

All families experience some form of dysfunction. It could be a temporary situation as a result of a crisis or critical event, or an ongoing and persistent issue resulting from addiction or mental illness. In the family, dysfunction is identified when conflict and instability become common which can happen, as many of us know, after a major change, during a life-stage transition, or because one or more of the family members are experiencing a personal crisis, among other reasons.

When our family is experiencing dysfunction, it’s tempting to look for someone to blame or scapegoat, but it’s not that simple…

When I taught college students English composition and literature, I assigned the dreaded research paper to each and every class. Part of their preparation to write that paper included learning research techniques, from how to use the college library to how to identify and evaluate sources. My lessons on this topic were detailed, and probably painfully so for my students. Most of them didn’t find the nuances of research particularly interesting. It’s not a fun or sexy topic, but it is vital for student success. …

Emotional abuse is a form of violence. Insidious and taking many forms across a spectrum of severity, it’s often reported as being more dangerous and destructive than physical abuse. It can appear innocuous and pass off as normal interpersonal relationship squabbles or disagreement and dissent among public figures, or it can be more clearly destructive. Emotional abuse is, in short, when critical, controlling, undermining, manipulative, insulting, shaming, embarrassing, or threatening treatment is leveled at a person or a group of people (see the chart below for more complete examples).

In the United States, we’re currently seeing examples of emotional abuse…

My Story

When I was fourteen, my military family moved from Bremerton, Washington to Hagåtña, Guam. I went from a whitewashed A-rated middle school with more resources and extracurricular activities than you can shake an expired Bernie Sander’s sign at to a high school in the South Pacific that looked like it was plucked out of the Oakland hood and had the bloody gang fights to prove it.

In addition to the dramatic change in geography and academic resources, I was suddenly a racial minority. No amount of agonizing over my perfectly coordinated mainland wardrobe bought from the mall in a manicured…

Self-actualized, wholehearted, independent women who don’t need a man for marriage or children can be a hell of a lot of fun once those who wish to date and partner with us learn this:

1. Your independence is sexy as hell. We want you to have a full and satisfying life, just as we do. That doesn’t mean you need to have every night of the week booked, go on wild adventures to foreign countries, or ascend mountain peaks. Your idea of independence may look like quiet nights at home, long afternoons with a good book, cooking a delicious meal for…