From Zero to Buddhist — 10 Principles For Finding Your Religion

I was born in Connecticut in 1964. My parents joined Second Congregational church in Manchester, about a mile from our house, when my sister and I were old enough to go to church. I attended Sunday school there, getting my first Bible from a snowy white haired minister with a warm and loving smile. He made a good first impression. In his kindness there seemed to be room for possibilities.

However, I was always very skeptical in church. At first, my doubt was childish, but it became more serious as I grew older. I remember arguing in Sunday school with the teachers and leaving with confusing and unsatisfactory answers. Most kids who go through church school will have this experience. After all, the well meaning parent volunteers who taught us were certainly not theologians. And even if they were, having an hour to teach us about Job’s trials and maintain order seems like a recipe for failure.

I was confirmed at Second Congo and remained there until I went to college. I really enjoyed the youth group, retreats, and summer camps. In general, it was a very good experience and a great environment to grow up in. I learned the pleasure of volunteering and grew up under the wing of a community of adults who truly cared about their kids and wanted to give them a strong foundation for life. But, in the end, it was easy to leave behind.

So Why Buddhism?

My religious trajectory can be summed up pretty simply.

• I was Baptized Christian
• I was unmotivated to stay connected to my church as a young adult
• My skepticism created doubt
• My doubt and study led me to atheism
• I began to seek
• Buddhism spoke to me

It’s probably true that I’m a special case. I would guess that for a majority of Americans, the path is circular. Most of us probably to cycle back to our root religion after doubt or seeking. We might switch from being Baptist to Catholic, Episcopal to Evangelical, or some other variation on the theme.

I fell pretty far from the wagon. I think there are a lot of contributing factors. The image below is a collection of reasons — both positive and negative — that led to my choice. The concepts will probably call up relevant and personal experiences with your root religion.

I’ll let the words speak for themselves.

We Always End Up Seeking

Humans are born with the seed of existential crisis. Quandaries about purpose, meaning, and who we are will nag at us over the course of our lifetime. In this age of leisure in the west, these questions seem to trouble us even more. There is a void that we try to fill through consumption, relationships, experiences, or even God. This seeking is important because it impels us to right ourselves with the world. Being right with the world can bring satisfaction and has the potential to create harmony.

So seek we will, seek we must. But how? All religions claim to offer the answers you’re looking for, but very few offer help in how to seek.

Finding Your Religion

As I sought (and continue to seek), I’ve found myself using and reusing a few principles. I hope they can be helpful in your search.

1. Certainty vs. Mystery (Knowing and not knowing) For me questions are often more interesting than answers, especially when it comes to religion. What constitutes a correct answer is usually subjective. A religious mentor who walks the line of what is knowable and what is not, is a good friend to have.
2. Truth vs truth (Wisdom vs Facts) Where fundamentalism presides, there is a belittling of the divine. Treating of religious texts as an accurate literal description of nature is insulting. Knowing what we do know about the vastness of the universe and its workings, it would be pure arrogance to assume that something worthy of worship can be encapsulated in the pages of a few human authored books. Religious texts are rich, allegorical, and contradictory. They impart wisdom, not facts.
3. Your relationship with the world (Interdependence) Recognizing and valuing our dependence on nature and each other is both a practical necessity and a key to discovering the divine. Whatever faith you choose should reflect this.
4. Your relationship with the divine (Other Power) What is it that is worthy of worship? This is a fertile question. As I’ve said before, questions can be more valuable than their answers. The concept of divinity is transcendent, and therefore slippery. We should be careful with simplistic anthropomorphic images of God. We should also acknowledge our frailty and dependence on what I would call “Other Power.” Cultivating an attitude of humility in the face of the sheer vastness of the universe and its mystery is worthwhile. Whatever path you choose should consider a relationship with the divine with a deep respect for what we don’t and can’t know.
5. Asceticism vs Hedonism (The Middle Way) An institution that rejects the world as it is, discards the basis for logic, reason, and common understanding. One that exalts personal pleasure will only lead to dissatisfaction, because the nature of pleasure is fleeting and temporary.
6. Original Nature (Nature/Nurture) Our character as a species and as individuals is complex. A disparaging or overly forgiving view of human nature is distorting.
   Our nature lies in a gray blend of original sin and original blessing, and is not limited to these dimensions. Leading theories of consciousness and the inner human life contradict our intuitions of what makes us tick. A religious tradition that clings to these old notions will not stand the test of time.
7. Rules vs Precepts Religion as an institution can often be at odds with the teachings of its prophets. Paul’s Christ is very different from James’ Christ. Much of these disparities are the result of theological battles within a tradition that tend to be resolved by cataloging orthodoxy and heresy. These early conflicts occurred in every religion, including Buddhism. This process of institutional homogenization tends to move towards oversimplification and benefits the church more than its members. Teachings that seem to exist to legitimize authority should be rightly held in doubt.
8. Apostasy and the Path In my opinion apostasy is a thinly veiled theological trick to preserve power. Creation speaks wonders to us in its order and its immensity. We need only open our eyes and notice. Institutions preserve the valuable insights of our ancestors, but when the institutions and the people who wield their power become self-serving, there is reason to be wary.
9. Biases It is a well-established fact that humans are cursed with a powerful confirmation bias. We see the world through the prism of our beliefs. We’re blind to evidence that contradicts them and find in everything else validation for them. A religious awakening must come with eyes wide open. It must reconcile the world as it is and the prophets. Unsubstantiated belief may offer people hope, but it fails as a means for salvation or liberation.
10. Community and Faith Humans are social animals. Most religious communities, including the church I grew up in, provide a wholesome positive environment. This is a compelling reason to join a faith tradition. But one should be careful to separate the benefits of the community with the veracity of its religious tenets.

I wish you well on your search for a religious home. It’s your own and no one else can do it for you. Keep your eyes and mind open, notice your biases, and remember all that glitters is not gold.

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