An Education On Thriving In Change
Prioritising the education that you never received, to embrace the challenges you will always face.
You don’t like change, it’s a part of your very nature.
You see the status quo as desirable and any change from that baseline as a great loss. Preferring things to stay the way they are, you like what you already have over what you could have. Thinking to yourself, “Well I’ve gotten this far doing it this way, surely it’s good enough then?”. You don’t like change because your brain views it as undesirable, uncomfortable and scary.
Be kind to yourself though, it’s not as if it’s your fault.
Considering the fact that things are changing quite a lot and quite often these days, surely educating yourself on how to thrive amongst change should be a priority?
Considering the fact that “the only thing that is constant is change”, and that “when you’re finished changing, then you’re finished”, surely educating others on how to thrive amongst change should be a priority?
Referring to some of the knowledge that is out there on the matter, here is a brief list to help you or a friend build a better relationship with change. Hope it helps…
1. Charity Starts At Home
“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.”
Take care of your basic needs, start with the fundamentals. Eat well, exercise regularly, take time for relaxation, sleep enough. It’s like regularly changing the oil and water of your car, small acts that make a big difference.
Need more? Michelle Kim has provided a great list of 51 options that you can use to practice self-care in times of distress.
2. You’ve Got A Friend In Me
“A problem shared is a problem halved.”
When things get tough it can seem like hiding from humanity is the best option. Even though there is a time and a place for this, make sure to have individuals or groups that can support, and be supported by, you.
Doing so allows you to talk to others who are going through the same changes as you, it reminds you that you’re not alone and will always help to put your situation into perspective.
3. Calm The Monkey Mind
“The mind is like water, when it is turbulent it is difficult to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear.”
The ability to be truly mindful of the quantity and quality of your moods and thoughts, as well as be fully aware of how external influences are affecting you, are fundamental skills in navigating change in the way that best suits your personality. There are numerous practices available to do so including Meditation, Journaling, Mental Mantras or even long walks in the park.
Take time out to hear yourself, silence can be a delightful place where answers are found and optimism rejuvenated.
4. Don’t Be Anxious, Get Active.
Whenever it appears that changes are fast and furious and you have no idea what to do about them, ask yourself, “How do you eat an elephant?”
… “One bite at a time!”
Not only Neil Armstrong understood the importance of small steps. Anxiety over change is grounded in the belief that you will not be able to cope with the change, that it’ll topple you over and defeat you.
Develop routines that help you to get started on chomping away at making external changes work for you, or to at least not be at the mercy of those changes. Remember to keep your expectations in check, you can’t eat an elephant in one meal.
5. It’s Beyond Your Control
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
The quote above, commonly used by Alcoholics Anonymous and similar organizations, provides a strong base for dealing with whatever life throws at you. Perspective, focusing your efforts strategically on that which you can control, is not only a smart allocation of your resources but also a means of living a happier life.
Attempting to control that which cannot be controlled, will make you angry and bitter to the world.
6. What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
One could never define his idea better than the man himself, but Tim Ferris has a pretty great case for ‘Why you should define your fears instead of your goals’. He provides a tool of logic, a philosophy, that intends to solidify and then properly represent the viability of the said ‘fear’ in your mind’s eye.
Here’s how it works:
1. Define a bad thing that can happen as a result of your decision.
2. Write down what action you can take to prevent that bad thing from happening in the first place.
3. Lastly, determine what you can to do repair the situation if that bad thing happens anyway.
8. The Obstacle Is The Way
“There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”
Facing the challenges of change correctly can help you go a long way to overcoming them. In Ryan Holiday’s “The Obstacle Is The Way”, a book on practical philosophy applicable to dealing with the struggle that is life, he lines up three tools to overcome the obstacles of existence. Act correctly according to these three tools and all change will become an opportunity to grow, to become better:
Perception: “It’s how we see and understand what occurs around us — and what we decide those events will mean. Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness…”
Action: “Action is commonplace, right action is not. As a discipline, it’s not any kind of action that will do, but directed action…”
Will: “Will is our internal power, which can never be affected by the outside world. It is our final trump card. If action is what we do when we still have some agency over our situation, the will is what we depend on when agency has all but disappeared…”
THE OPPORTUNITY IN CHANGE
Approach thriving in change as a feat of human achievement. Aim to act nobly, well and with character and you will always feel a sense of growth and accomplishment. Attempting to thrive amongst constant change is an opportunity to refine your character, to strengthen your resolve and hone your tools of perception.
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Much love,
Daniel
