Your Mind — Friend or Foe?
Minds can trick us into believing what they want us to believe.
“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” — Emo Philips, comedian
We are led to believe that our mind is there to be our friend, our ally, there to help us through sticky situations and give us advice. The bad news is — this is not always the case. The above quote shows the way our minds can trick us into believing what they want us to believe. This is particularly true for people experiencing mental ill-health, when the mind’s voice is overwhelmingly negative.
The depressed mind says — “don’t go out, you won’t enjoy it, you’ll just bring everyone else down”. The anxious mind orders us to avoid situations that make us feel anxious. “If you give the presentation, you’ll probably make a fool of yourself, and everyone will laugh at you”. The tales that our minds tell us are persuasive, and we often feel powerless to do anything other than what our mind orders us to do.
When we are in the vice-like grip of our mind’s stories, we often need support from others to help us to see things in a more helpful way. The problem is, talking about how we are feeling is exactly the opposite of what our minds tell us to do when we need help!
“Don’t talk to anyone about how you’re feeling, they all seem to be coping just fine! They’ll think you’re a loser”. Our minds convince us to do the exact opposite of what we need, keeping us isolated and allowing our mind to continue to wreak havoc, uninterrupted, until we are utterly convinced that the negative thoughts we have are completely true.
How can we break free of the unhelpful tales woven by our minds? Talking to a friend, family member, coworker or professional can help us to see things for what they are, loosening the hold of negative thoughts so that we can respond in more helpful ways. People often need a nudge to reach out for support, particularly if their mind is trying to convince them that it isn’t a good idea! This is where we can all help each other out. Just by checking in with someone, you could be the difference that makes the difference for them. If someone seems a bit quiet, withdrawn, or does not seem like themself, let them know that you’re thinking of them and you’re there to talk if they want to talk. You won’t make them feel worse by asking, and chances are, you’ll make them feel much better knowing that they aren’t alone.
With Time to Talk day on the 1st of February, we can all be reminded that it’s never too soon to talk about mental health. For ideas on how to start the conversation, visit https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/get-involved/time-talk-day-2018.
Written by Dr. Hannah Sugarman, Clinical Psychologist
This article is informative only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For emergency contacts, please visit http://www.mind.org.hk/what-to-do-in-a-mental-health-emergency.
