A hot bath never hurt anyone…or has it?
Self-care has only recently been something i’ve thought about. Before, i would aimlessly do things to see if they would help or i would just neglect myself completely. I guess i never truly knew what self-care was.
Self-care is the individual practise of health management without aid of a medical professional (NHS England).
It’a essentially managing your own health, which in a way, we do everyday. If you were walking past a door and happened to scrape your hand and ended up having a big cut, you would clean it and then bandage it up. If it doesn’t get better you would then seek further assistance. All of that is managing ones health.
But what do we do when it comes to mental health?
I’ve always thought of self-care as warm baths, face masks and taking deep breaths. But is mental self-care more than this?
It’s important to note that these things are beneficial and they can definitely make you feel better in the moment as a short term fix. As a way to try-to-improve-my-mood-quickly — a kind of escape. But in the long run, bubble baths and chocolate can only help you so much.
I saw a video the other day (on TikTok, of course). In summary, the video was a skit of a girl talking to CAMHS asking for help. CAMHS is a charity that help children and adults, in supporting them with their mental health. In the video she asks for help with her mental health and they respond with trivial solutions such as taking a bath and having a cup of tea. To this she responds confused, asking for actual help.
What I think I, and so many others have failed to realise, is that although these things bring us a slight bit of happiness, it does not mean it can solve the stresses, anxieties and problems we hold.
They are small, short term fixes that you can do for yourself because you love to do them. They are activities that make you feel good. That doesn’t mean it’s self-care 101. I know i’m a big culprit of saying ‘Sunday is a self-care day’ and then i’ve put on a face mask, had a bubble bath and read a book and then attributed that to looking after my mental well-being, and in the short term i guess it is. Doing things you love is always going to be caring about yourself — but actual self-care, self-care of your mental health is way more than that.
We have denoted this idea of small fixes, glimpses of joy that help us feel better for 10 minutes, an hour or a day to self-care.
So with all that, i’ve been trying to look at self-care in a different way. As a more proactive long term solution.
If you’re feeling down, stressed, filled with anxieties or overwhelmed, instead of grabbing a drink and relaxing in a hot bath, maybe try hitting the stress head on. Ask yourself these questions:
What is causing these feelings?
Has anything today added to these feelings?
Would stepping out of this situation help?
Would lessening my work load allow me to breathe more easily?
Sometimes being reflective on the day, with the right questions can help you figure out if you need to remove or add something to your life to make it better. Something that might not completely solve your issues straight away, but will propel you further towards the solution of these feelings, or at least lessen them a little. You might not even have the answers to these questions at first but the more reflective you are, the easier it becomes to know how to move forward.
We all love a hot drink (I don’t, never have. Controversial, i know) and a bubble bath but there is only so much that can do when easing the mental weight we feel some days.
Reflecting back to my first example. If you cut your hand, clean it and bandage it up until it gets better, you have given it a short term solution to get better however we also think about how it happened. The next time you walk past the door you are more careful or you try and fix the door so it doesn’t happen again. You reflect on what happened and you try and act on that. And this is what we should do when it comes to our mental health — recognise your feelings, ask yourself questions and look over the situations that have happened before. Be reflective. It’s worth a try!
The next time you feel like having a self-care day. start your day by reflecting on the week or days prior. Think about the questions above — what has had a huge impact on me this week? Asking these questions can only help you move forward and if you really don’t want to miss out on a warm bubble bath it’s something you can do at the same time. With a hot drink and a face mask on, if you like.
Now i’m going to go have a bubble bath and a cold drink just because i like too.
Always with love,
Laura
MindMapper is revolutionising mental health education for young adults. Join the global community now and start learning how to live a mentally healthier life.
Links below:
Tik Tok credit to Grace Keeling — https://www.tiktok.com/@gkbarry/video/6943611341433212165?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6971671202042775046
