Does being Northern mean you’re more likely to be victim to mental health stigma?
I am so proud of being from the North. SO proud. I’m proud to the point, that when people ask me where I’m from when I’m abroad, I recoil in disgust, because how could this thick Northern accent ever be from anywhere else other than the mighty North?
Disclaimer: I currently live in London. I lived in Surrey for 3 years and lived in Telford (West Mids) for a year. I like living in London at the moment but there’s no place like home right?
Well, it’s interesting because when I was first diagnosed with depression in 2016, my best friend from Newcastle was shocked.
Why? Two reasons:
1) She didn’t really understand what had happened for this to come out the blue (which to be fair, for her it may have felt like that to her as I hadn’t seen her in 6 months due to doing a grad scheme in Telford)
2) We have always prided ourselves on being strong Northern women. Strong Northern women can get through anything — how could I be depressed?
It’s not that we’re not emotional. We’re SO emotional. We don’t hide our emotions and sometimes that can come across as being loud, blunt or even at times aggressive. We wear our heart on our sleeve and we tend to speak up pretty quickly if something feels wrong.
Put us in a room of ‘Southern Softies’ (we’ll come onto this later) and we’ll take pride in being ‘ard and Northern.
Here are some interesting sayings from the North and why saying them passively could actually be preventing us from having conversations around our mental health:
“We’re made of thicker stuff us Northerners” — no matter where you are in the North, we love this saying. Especially when we’re compared to someone ‘weaker’ who isn’t from our area.
“It’ll be reet” — used to cover up pretty much anything that goes wrong. It’s a quick way to deflect from anything and everything.
“Y’alright?” / “Ah’reet cocker” / “‘Ow do?” / “Ey up duck” — a range of ways to say hello in the North. Notice how we kinda ask how you’re doing? That’s good. However, sometimes that is met with the exact same response back. We don’t always answer the question.
“Stop mithering” — This means stop fussing/ stop worrying/ stop bothering. This isn’t a great saying for someone who maybe needs some extra attention.
“Shut your cakehole” — cakehole means ‘mouth’. I love this phrase! However, dependent on when and how it is used, it can be quite dismissive.
“Grand as ‘owt” — this a Gillett family favourite. I love it because it reminds me of my Grandma (bless her soul), but we use it for everything and usually to conclude a bad situation that we’ve fixed. It almost puts a stopping point to a problem that may still be ongoing. It’s fine for little issues but I’ve found myself using it to talk about my mental health when I’ve had a bad day and I want to deflect from how I’m actually feeling.
How many have you heard in everyday conversation? How many have you said without even thinking? How many do you use to deflect from how you or someone else is actually feeling?
Don’t get me wrong, I think we’re far better in the North at being open and honest in how we feel, but when I talk to members of my own community, it takes a while for us to break down our ‘tough Northern’ exterior.
It’s no secret that the Northern stereotypes are harmful to mental health. The ironic thing is that ‘Southern Softy’ is a phrase I’ve heard so much and I actually think that Southerners have a much ‘tougher’ way of communicating. The North is much friendlier and open to conversations around mental health.
It doesn’t mean there’s not work to do though. My suggestions?
- Check your language
When you come out with these things — are you intending for it to come out brash and harsh or do you actually mean something else? I love these sayings above, but I need to stop using them to dismiss how I actually feel especially when I’m at home. - Challenge the thought process
When these sayings pop into your head — challenge the thought process of why that was the first thing that came to mind? When did you first start hearing it? Who says it? Are they the best example of mental wellness or do they have their own stigma towards mental health? Is it helpful for you to be echoing their thoughts? - Be PROUD of who you are
I’m still a proud Northerner and I will always be proud of where I’m from. I’d like to think my grave will read Lauren Gillett: Girl, Woman, Northerner. However, I need to remember that as much as it’s part of my identity, being Northern is a huge spectrum and not the stereotype that is put out into the media (this has been used to take the piss out of me at university, but was something that helped me bond with people and especially when I met my best friends from other parts of the world).
So to answer my question: does Northern mean you’re more likely to be victim to mental health stigma? — Maybe. Do you have to put up with it? No. I’m proud, I’m Northern and I will continue to advocate for my own and others mental health.
Now get outside, enjoy the bank holiday weekend, it’s cracking flags out there.
Love always,
Lauren x
