Facts vs Myths: Counselling
Have you ever tried counselling? I haven’t.
I have always had a perception of what counselling is but, over the last few years, that has changed drastically. Apparently, you do not lie down on an inclined sofa while a middle-aged balding man asks you about your childhood, you don’t need a box of tissues for every session, you won’t attain superhuman emotional intelligence. The list goes on.
I want to dispel some myths and present some facts to shed some light on what counselling actually is. You need to know what is true and what is not to make sure that counselling is what you are after.
Myth: It is unaffordable for the average person.
How much do you pay for your gym? Probably around £25 to £50 per month. Now let us reframe the way you think about counselling. If you view it as a mental health gym, spending a similar amount would be considered cheap. That is how much you would spend on counselling according to the NHS website. This is also subject to concessions such as education status, wage etc. You may also qualify for free counselling as part of the NHS referral scheme.
Fact: You do not need to be prepared.
Therapy is a way of exploring your unique mindset and figuring out what is holding you back. By coming as unprepared and as authentic as you can, you will have an accurate reflection on the issues you are facing. It is not an interview; it is a conversation with an understanding person.
Myth: They lead the conversation.
It is your session. You get to decide what you want to speak about. They may ask questions to help you get started, but the conversation is entirely yours.
Fact: The time you need to “fix yourself” is arbitrary.
There are people who feel much better after only 6 weeks of counselling. There are also people who feel that it is necessary for them to continue sessions indefinitely. The time it takes for you to feel any progress is decided by so many different variables that it is redundant to compare yourself to others. Everyone is unique and there is no way of knowing whether it will take a few sessions or a much longer commitment. Only you know what is right.
Myth: They will not understand what you have been through.
It takes the average counsellor 7 years to become qualified. What they learn over those 7 years is how to understand every kind of person. They will understand every experience and provide judgement-free advice.
Fact: It helps to speak to someone who is not part of your circle.
Have you ever poured your heart out to a stranger? I know I have. With our family and friends, there is an expectation to fulfil their image of you and that pressure makes it difficult to be vulnerable. A stranger has no reason to think anything of you and so will be the best listeners (especially qualified strangers.)
Myth: You get little choice when it comes to the counsellor.
For every unique experience, there is a unique counsellor. If you feel uncomfortable with your counsellor because of any superficial reason (race, gender, age etc.), then you have no reason to continue. They understand that it is easier to relate with people like yourself. Again, this is your experience, take control!
