Money is the root of my financial depression
Growing up, I’ve always had a bad relationship with money. Whether that was the constant spending of my pocket money after school to buy a burger, chips, salad and chilli sauce at my local Kebab shop, or the lack of financial literacy I was taught in school. (In my defence, I did save up my pocket money and purchase an Xbox 360 and Fifa 08 all by myself in Secondary school. Balance)
People often say ‘money is the root of all evil’. For me, money was the root of my financial depression.
You may be thinking that is a very deep, hard-hitting statement to make. But is it really? I’m not here to trigger or judge anyone throughout the course of this piece. However, I believe that we live in a world where many of us have unhealthy relationships with money and are not being honest with ourselves. Growing up in a working-class family, I often saw how hard my parents had to work just to be able to provide for us. The long hours combined with the lack of sleep. It often felt like a never-ending cycle. Work hard throughout the month, longing for that pay day. But once it comes, the initial excitement would be dampened by the bills piling up on the staircase which needed to be paid.
Seeing the stress money placed on my parents made me want to get a job myself and earn money to alleviate the pressure on their shoulders. Meritocracy was often purported as this important ideology to abide by. ‘Work hard and you shall receive the rewards you deserve’. Throughout my life, I have worked jobs in fundraising, retail and security. All labour intensive, long hours and physically demanding. Going through these employment experiences, earning a salary and supporting my parents brought me happiness because I could see how appreciative and relieved they were.
But I wasn’t happy. I never really spent money on myself. Nor did I know the benefits of saving towards my future.
Looking back, I wish schools and universities placed more of an emphasis on teaching students the importance of financial literacy. Aspects such as utilising credit cards in a healthy way, managing direct debits and staying away from debt. However, when you’re young, you don’t really pay attention to these things. You’re more focused on earning money and spending it. Buying clothes, trainers, food, games etc. At times, you would want to earn money fast, just so that you could spend it even faster.
Although I was not really fazed by societal pressures to have certain possessions, I was crippled by the mindset of ‘spend now, worry later’. All through my teens, university years, postgraduate life, I had years and years of poor financial management. Spending money on Uber Eats, video games, alcohol and trainers. I look back and I ask myself why? I would not say I’m materialistic, but spending money brought me happiness.
Although I did not realise it in the moment, spending money provided me with an escape from facing my mental health and addressing the hardships in my life.
It is easier to spend your way out of a problem than it is to sit down and tackle it head on. A lot of people spend money on their external image to mask their internal insecurities. You can spend all the money you want on botox, plastic surgery or expensive clothes. But is that really happiness, when you know deep down that your insecurities are still there and still affect you? If you don’t take the time to sit with your insecurities and address them, all you are doing is adding external layer after external layer. You cannot hide from yourself.
We now live in a world dominated by social media. Societal pressures to have the latest clothes, or ‘drip’ as the younger generations term it, have worsened over the past decade. The rise of ‘influencers’ taking pictures outside high fashion stores that they actually cannot afford to purchase items from increases pressure on young girls to look rich and adhere to the latest trends.
Boys as young as 16/17 years old are wearing clothing items from luxury brands, making you question how this is possible and where are they getting the money to fund such a lifestyle. Young footballers at the age of 19/20 years old are earning massive wages and wearing luxury brands such as Balmain and Gucci.
Seeing all of this every week, day, hour, second affects our mental health. It creates an unhealthy perception of what money is and how it should be used. A lot of people project the impression on social media that they are rich and have lots of money, when really this is all a façade. Everyone wants to be rich, but not a lot of people realise the importance of being mentally healthy.
Here are a few words of advice when it comes to your relationship with money:
1) Stop comparing yourself to the people you see on social media platforms
Honestly stop. I know it is not easy. Scrolling through social media platforms and seeing people wearing the latest designer brands and expensive clothing. But how many of these people are transparent with how they afford these items or are able to fund their lifestyles? A lot of people want to project the highs, but do not want to show you the lows or be transparent with their journey. Take breaks from social media or delete apps if you have to. Clear your mind and focus on creating a healthy relationship between yourself and money.
2) Check and maintain a healthy credit score
You’re spending money aimlessly, yet your direct debits are bouncing back and you’re missing payments. Have you checked your credit score? Are you in debt? Are you on the verge of defaulting and having a default registered on your credit file for the next six years? One thing I wish I realised sooner was the importance of having a healthy credit score and not missing monthly payments. Yes, even that phone bill too. Especially if you have future ambitions of getting a mortgage or creating a business. Having a healthy credit score makes it easier to obtain credit.
3) You can’t spend your way out of financial depression
Look inwards and ask yourself is money really the answer to my problems? It is easy to think that spending money in the short term will bring you happiness. However, does this actually bring you happiness in the long term? From personal experience, money brought me happiness and relief in the short term, but also brought with it long term stresses. Are you using money to cover up your insecurities? Take some time out to understand your insecurities, reflecting on your past and your present. Be intentional with the changes you wish to implement for the future.
Always remember that happiness starts from within and exudes outwards.
You know the vibes.
Brian Kapuku
