LGPTQ+
Gen X Marked the Spot When Everything Changed for Allies
Where are my Gen X peers now?
Step up, Gen X. There are human lives at risk.
June is Pride month, and I’m damn proud to be an ally. Are you?
If you’re not, would you be an ally if I told you it could save lives?
I’m not just asking you. I’m urging you.
For the first time in more than 20 years, I can honestly say I’m scared for my friends’ lives.
If you don’t listen to anything I say, listen to this….
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My friend Grace is just 25. I met her when she started working at one of my favorite businesses. Conversation after conversation led to the joint realization that despite our age difference, we are meant to be friends.
I love so many things about her. Her adorable giggle. Her curiosity about life in her 20s. Her dedication to shopping for ethical fashion (something I never knew much about).
Here’s the thing I didn’t know about her for more than a year.
Grace is trans.
I didn’t think I knew any trans people. But I guess that’s how it is for a lot of us. You don’t know until you do.
She didn’t tell me her truth for a long time. Not until she knew she was safe.
Can you imagine being afraid you would be judged or harmed for telling the world who you are?
I never thought anyone in her generation would ever have to feel that fear. In fact, I thought my generation paved the way for her generation’s safety.
Boy, was I wrong.
****
I’m Generation X.
I’ve always called it generation “X-scape.”
We lived in Xanadu. A world we fought to create.
Everything we fought to escape and demolish is coming back tenfold; and I can’t believe it’s happening on our watch.
The Human Rights Campaign has actually issued an LGBTQ+ travel warning for the United States, something that’s never happened before.
No, I can’t prove it’s my Gen X peers at the helm, but when you think about it, our kids are now in their teens and 20s.
Grace’s age.
It doesn’t make sense to me. We spent OUR youth escaping from all of the things we were “supposed to be.” We fought to give people the right to be who they are and who they want to be.
And why? We didn’t want to be defined. That led to independent thinking I never thought would cease to exist.
It didn’t happen overnight. It was a process that evolved out of a fight for equality. A fight to be ourselves.
No matter what political party we identified with.
****
I grew up in the arts world with a lot of gay male friends who were simply too afraid to tell anybody who they were. My best friends.
I watched many of them die because no one knew what HIV was, and some of them were so ashamed that they never told anyone why they were sick. Their families told stories of cancer and undefinable illnesses.
It broke our hearts.
We fought for funding for medication, equal rights, a society that wasn’t afraid of what they called “the gay cancer,” health education and a lack of stigma.
Things were different then. They were just starting to change. Society was on the cusp of acceptance of all people, but a butterfly had not yet publicly emerged.
In my 20s, those friends started coming out … one by one. At the time, it saddened me that they had to hide the truth of who they were for so long.
I certainly didn’t take societal evolution for granted. I fought boldly, never missing pride parades or the chance to accompany my friends to gay bars to support them.
We knew about things like The Stonewall Riots, but we didn’t understand the significance of the movement in the big picture.
And we certainly never thought society would go backward when we were middle-aged.
****
Here’s the thing that’s going to shock you.
At the time, I was a Republican.
Yes, I was a Republican gay rights activist. I was socially liberal and fiscally conservative.
Most everyone I knew was Republican, and most everyone I knew wanted to see gay rights become a reality.
For the average person who identified with a party, politics were evolving away from a push for “the norm.” Instead, it was about defense during the Cold War, protection after the Cold War and one’s personal views on taxes.
Never did I ever think society would take a step backward.
After all, we were the generation that watched our mothers jump into the working world in a fight for their own equality. The generation that embraced birth control out of practicality. The generation that valued human rights and an early push for an existence that promoted positive mental health.
****
Now, things are different.
I blame it on a lot of things, one of them being religion.
And that hurts me to say this because I am a very strong Christian.
I, like many others, left the Republican party because I simply cannot stand for a movement that puts other people’s lives in danger.
But what upsets me the most is the people who are quiet at a time when we need to be the loudest.
Many of the people pushing for a return to “norms” do not know any gay or trans people. And that scares me the most.
If there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that none of my friends chose to be gay.
In fact, they tried to be straight. They always told me I was lucky that I was born straight.
I didn’t choose to be straight, just like they didn’t choose to be gay. But what I am choosing is to be an ally. Where are my other Gen X peers?
Every human being deserves the right to be happy, healthy, embraced and safe. Stand up for what’s right.
Be an ally. I promise you this. You’ll be saving lives.
