SATIRE
I Knocked Barack Obama Out of First Place
You’re still №1 to me
Dear President Barack Obama,
It’s been a while since my last letter to you. I hope there are no hard feelings about what happened last week. You know what I’m talking about.
You still don’t post on here as often as I do. By my count, you’ve only posted five stories this year. Not to brag, but I’ve posted 90 stories this year.
Despite your low output, you did very well with My Statement on President Biden’s Announcement. It was trending at №1 for at least several days. I know because I was hoping a story of mine — my first truly viral story — might trend, so I was checking frequently.
Alas, my viral story We Could Learn a Lot About Sex From the Dutch, didn’t ever trend, even though it has racked up 72K reads and has earned enough money that I could pay off my house. Mind you, I bought a cheap house and have been making payments for 16 years.
That story never did trend. But then, a few days later, a friend of mine sent me a text congratulating me on trending at №1. I checked and still saw your name at the top…
