Culture | Religion | Government

Lauren Boebert, That Shit Will Get You Killed in the Theocracy You Crave

And please get your hands out of that guy’s pants

Quaker Mary Dyer Being Led to her execution by Puritan neighbors. Image in the Public Domain.

Dear Ms. Boebert,

It’s come to our attention that you and a number of your colleagues advocate dismantling the U.S.’s time-honored separation of church and state. We’re concerned; are you aware that some of your favorite pastimes are frowned upon by a majority of religious nut jobs around the world? As of this writing, the world’s remaining theocracies are Afghanistan, Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Vatican City, and Yemen. Try vaping while giving a guy a public hand job in any of these countries and see what happens next.

Oh, all but one is an Islamic Theocracy? Good point. We used to have Christian theocracies in the past, but alas, they just don’t seem to work out.

Let’s look at one example of many, and consider late 15th century Italy. Florence enjoyed a theocracy for four heavenly years of family values and Biblical living, thanks to Fra Girolamo Savonarola. In the capital of the Renaissance — home of Dante, Da Vinci, and Machiavelli — Savonarola began burning art and literature he deemed “obscene.” Sound familiar? His joyride of destruction ended only when the Florentines burned…