Best Friend’s Success: Discovering the Mindset
Michael had been one of the top students throughout middle school and high school, achieving a 4.0 GPA or higher, from seventh through twelfth grade. Obtaining this ideal mindset will help you achieve your lifelong goals and allows you to be the best person you can possibly be. I agree with Dweck’s thesis, that mental mindsets can and must be changed. My past experiences with Michael, the most hardworking and motivated person I know to this day, has allowed me to observe the amount of success that he had achieved just by analyzing his beliefs.
Michael was viewed as the all-around student, doing everything he can to stand out as the best. He participated in a numerous amount of extracurricular activities, and was always willing to help other students as well. I have repeatedly asked him what motivated him and how he was able to be successful in everything that he does. Although he had always said that he isn’t actually smart and just studies a lot, I knew that there was more behind it. After reading Mindset by Carol Dweck, I had finally realized what made Michael one of the most successful students I have ever seen. In Mindset, Dweck gave examples of famous people such as Cindy Sherman and Albert Einstein, and explains that they were ordinary people at one point. As they were all willing to develop a passion to learn, Dweck says “You can see how the belief that cherished qualities can be developed creates a passion for learning.” Having a growth mindset means that you believe your qualities are not permanent, and that you can develop them through time and effort. Michael was a student that knew he wasn’t naturally smart, but he believed that with putting time and effort into studying, he would be able to change his qualities, allowing him to become as intelligent as he is. Instead of letting the fact that he wasn’t born naturally smart control his beliefs, he was able to develop a growth mindset, create a passion and a willingness to learn, to found that his potential is limitless.
In contrast, Dweck explains his past experiences, saying “I, on the other hand, thought human qualities were carved in stone.” Having a fixed mindset meant that you believed that there was nothing you can do to improve your own qualities, and that causes you to be afraid of failure. Like Dweck, Michael claims to have had a fixed mindset in his early ages. Growing up, he believed that the qualities that he was born with were the qualities that had to stay with him forever, and there was not much he could do about it. However, as time progresses, he realizes that his potential is limitless, and that it is entirely up to him to change his mindset and improve his human qualities. In depth, Dweck gives an example of how a person with a fixed mindset might think, as he gives a set of scenarios that the average person might encounter, such as “You got a C+…. That evening on the way back to your home, you find that you’ve gotten a parking ticket…. you call your best friend to share your experience but are sort of brushed off.” As he surveys a variety of students, he finds that those with a fixed mindset might think “I’m an idiot.” or “I’m a loser.” On the other hand, students with a growth mindset explain that “I need to try harder in class, be more careful when parking the car, and wonder if my friend had a bad day.” Getting a grade that you didn’t want or getting a parking ticket does not necessarily mean that it is the end of the world. Like Dweck mentions, there was no death or destruction, therefore, there is no need to let a small and temporary event like this define who you really are. In relation, there have been many times where Michael did not score as highly as we would have liked to. Even though it had sometimes annoyed me because he would say “Darn, I only got a 94 percent, I wanted 100”, he would always follow up by saying “Next time, I’m going to work even harder.” He doesn’t let one test score define who he is, instead, he tells himself that he will put in more effort next time. He was ready to confront his challenges and continue learning. This is the kind of mindset that allows him to be as motivated as he is and is exactly how is able to be successful. Being able to go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is not an easy task, by all means. However, there is much more in store for you as a person when you develop a growth mindset. The most important reason why one should develop a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset is that he or she will be able to look past their failures. Like mentioned before, students with a fixed mindset would let something such as a bad test score control their thoughts and actions. They would let a small event get into their head, causing them to think that they are a failure and that they can not do anything about it. If you were to develop a growth mindset, however, you would be able to brush that off, and benefit from that “failure”. To you, that bad test score would not mean that you have failed, by any means. Instead, that would just be a sign that you need to work harder, and you would never let something like a test score truly define who you are. Dweck explains that students with a fixed mindset believe that a test score “could measure how smart they were. And how smart they’d be when they grew up.” It is extremely important to be able to leave this thought behind, as achieving great success will never come easy, and no one is ever perfect. Once again, Michael has been able to demonstrate his abilities to develop a sort of “short-term memory” I should say, as he will never become traumatized by a single test score, and he would forget about it quickly. This allows him to always push himself to his full potential.
In addition, Dweck also states that acquiring a growth mindset is beneficial in relationships. Michael has always had an extraordinary relationship with his parents, especially his mother. In my eyes, I do not think I have ever seen someone that is able to be so understanding and loving when conversating with his parents. In Mindset, Dweck says that “people with a fixed mindset believe that a couple should share all of each other’s views.” Although Michael and his mother are not necessarily a “couple”, I think that this statement by Dweck relates well to demonstrate how Michael is the exact opposite. From what I have personally seen, Michael has not always shared the same views as his mother, of course. However, he completely understands that everyone does not share the same perspective all the times and that communication is key to a good relationship. Instead of arguing and assigning blame, he is willing to explain and communicate with his mother about what works and what doesn’t. This way, they are able to come to an agreement and arguments would be prevented. This provides good evidence as to why you should develop a growth mindset, because everyone always dreams of having the “perfect” relationship with no problems. Although a perfect relationship is not entirely possible, being able to work with other’s ideas and look past their differences is an essential skill to establishing a good relationship.
Lastly, Dweck mentions this question, “You keep talking about how the growth mindset makes people number one, the best, the most successful. Isn’t the growth mindset about personal development, not besting others?” Dweck answers this question by saying “I use examples of people who made it to the top to show how far the growth mindset can take you: Believing talents can be developed allows people to fulfill their potential.” Dweck makes a good point, because most of the people that have developed a growth mindset are able to do what they love, without having to worry about the outcome. To someone with a fixed mindset, they are constantly worried about how they will end up, or whether or not they will fail. This really shows the beauty of having a growth mindset, since you are able to do what you desire regardless of the outcome.
I find myself to fully agree with Dweck, as I believe that our mental mindsets can and should be changed. Observing Michael’s experience has shown that being able to change from having a fixed mindset to a growth mindset will allow you to develop the human qualities that you desire, look past your failures, better your relationships, and most importantly, be able to do what you love. Being able to view your failures as a chance to learn will lead you down the path towards success and allow you to become the best version of yourself. The willingness to learn from your failures is the first step to developing your desired qualities and will help you realize that all your time and effort was worth it. Furthermore, a growth mindset is the key to happiness, because you are able to be yourself and do what you love regardless of what happens at the end, not just for the success.
