Depression and Mindset
According to the book “Mindset — The Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck, the author claims that there are two mindsets which are growth mindset and a fixed mindset. She states that our mental mindsets can be changed if we want to and know how to fix it. A growth mindset refers to a person’s belief in their own ability to learn or develop their skills. This related to all of these benefits such as happiness, careers, relationship, behavior, health and success. A fixed mindset refers to the intelligence that stay with people since they are born and it might cannot do much to change while intelligence in a growth mindset can be changed and developed. I agree as well as disagree with Dweck’s thesis that our mental mindsets can and must be changed. How can we change? Why does it matter? How can mindset can lead to depression?
In addition, mental mindsets can and must be changed or not, it still depends of that person. Fixed mindset is not an easy part. When people do not want to do, no one can force them to do as change their mindset. Some people believe that one person successful is because they are lucky, in fact, it is not everything. At some point, I have to admit that the talent and intelligence are really matter for successful. In some cases, a fixed mindset can bring negative as well as positive to a human. Growth mindset has their own problem too, which is when people put all of their efforts to learn and develop any skills but if at the end, they do not success, they will feel failure and seriously, it can lead to depression somehow. As my own experience, I have been through depression after I experienced so many problems in my life since I was 16 years old until 20 years old, especially I got a bully from other girls at high school. I got a dog and she is still living with me right now. My life has changed so much since I changed my mindset as I my own growth mindset and fixed mindset.
According to the book “Mindset — The Psychology of Success”, she claims that “Bullying is about judging. It’s about establishing who is more worthy or important … It’s not that bullies are low in self-esteem, but judging and demanding other can give them a self-esteem rush.” (Page 169, Relationships: Mindsets in Love or Not) This is so truth about society right now. Some people think that bullying is fighting, hurting each other by kick them or punch them, but it is not. Judging is also can hurt people’s feeling, people’s self-esteem or ego. “When you enter the world of growth-mindset leaders, everything changes.” (Page 125, Business: Mindset and Leadership) Once we change our mind, things will happen in different ways as we treat, reaction to problem will be more positive thinking rather than negative thinking. Also, this quote from the book is so truth “With the fixed mindset, one moment your partner is the light of your life, the next they are your adversary.” (Page 161, Relationship: Mindsets in Love or Not) Today we love someone so much but we never sure that the next morning, this person will be still there, it might turn to be your ex as well as your enemy.
As what I have been through when I was in high school until 20 years old, the time that I had suffer with depression and lived far away from my parents. I had to handle and solve everything in my life as relationship, career, academic by myself without help from anyone around. When I was at high school, a group of girls that they were bullied me, just because I am the only that an Asian can speaks Chinese, Cantonese as well as Vietnamese. At that time, something happens between those two countries, China and Vietnam, so they do not like each other at all. I thought those issues were not mine so I did not care. I tried to be friendly and get along with those girls but it did not work out and turned to bully me. Every day that I went to school with the feeling of scared. I hated school. I asked my mother to exchange to another school and she asked me so much questions why did I want to go to other schools while everything seems to be good with me in here. I did not know how to explain to her. I was protected myself, tried to avoid them as much as I could for over two years and I chose to move on to College to study foundation, which mean I did not have year 12 as well as high school diploma degree at all. In Australia, they allowed students to do that if their GPA is high and if they pass IELTS test with requirement score which is 6.0 over 9.0. I did not feel much better, because I did not realize that which major I wanted to study. I felt more stress out and I went to see a doctor. I could not sleep at night and I went to see a doctor. They offer me sleeping medicine and on other side, they told me that I should worked out more, I could not depend on medicine a lot. In a long time, it might make my immune system was getting weak. My friends recommended me to get a dog. I believed this decision was the best ever that I made in those moment when I had depression. At some moment, I still thought about suicide. I had trauma about bullied at school, my boyfriend broke up with me after five years together, my grade was not good as what I expected at the beginning, but whenever I looked at my dog, I realize that I have to take care of her. Her health is really bad, her skin is always infection as her has those DNA since she was born, and her stomach is easy to throw up if she eats the wrong food.
The only way to solve all of those problems is fixed my mindset and growth it. I learned to how to accept the truth that human is not perfect and stopped thought about myself was useless. I understood that broke up in a relationship was a small part of human that everyone has to been through at least once in their life, if not, you are lucky. I am really good at cooking so I joined into more class of cooking, met more new friends and hang out with them after class. When I had free time, I went out to coffee shop, vet store to get toys, treats for my dogs. I started to learn how to share my problems with my parents to ask advices whenever I needed, and I realized that they are always by my side. Just because I used to think that no one around me, I was lonely but this was not truth. I stopped think about suicide and made my life was busy. In necessary, whenever I felt stress again, I went to Yoga class, where I could stretch out my body, and wrote down what I thought and read again. In fact, if people could not explain their words by saying, they still can write down. I avoided social media when I felt stress too. I did not want to post anything on social media that could made me feel regret later on.
Refers to all of those quotes, I believe those are truth. Bullying is an issue very serious in school’s life nowadays. It happens everywhere at school and happens to any ages. The one bully other will never understand how hurt is that. For example, if that happens at middle-school, people will think the one who is bully another student is not mature enough. In fact, bully is not about mature or not, it is about judging. It can cause trauma and affects to the one gets bully for the rest of their life. Body shame is one of the kinds of bully without hurting people’s body but this affects people mental health. With me, mental health is important as much as physical health. Since I got bullied at school and I got experienced and trauma from that. Myself has changed a lot as I growth my mindset. Now, I feel more confidence and if something is unfair to me, I will stand up and protect myself. I take relationship is easier than before and believe more about fate. I heard my mother always says that “If it means to be, it means to be.”
Life is not easy but how we end up our life every day and start a new day in the next morning depends on how we fixed and growth our mindset. Mindset is everything. Mindset is very important, especially for who have been through mental health diseases. Those kind of people as me will understand mental health can affects to physical health a lot in different way. When our mental feel sad, we do not want eat. It leads to serious problem is suicide. The way we reaction, behavior, happiness, success in career or academic or treat people around and treat ourselves, all of these related to mindset. Once we change our mindset, our life will be totally change. The more positive thinking we have, the more happiness we earn in our life.
