I am Not a Lost Cause — How I Fixed my Mindset

Is it true that people are either born smart or stupid? That there is no room for growth? If you think about it, most of our knowledge comes from experience. During my earlier years, my parents would always tell me that I was born smart, that I was “gifted.” Unfortunately, I believed that I was born smart, that good grades came naturally. This was the root of how my fixed mindset was created. Having a fixed mindset lead me to believe that I did not need to put in effort or ask for help. As the years progressed, I came to the realization that having a fixed mindset was keeping me back from bettering myself, it kept me from growing. I wanted to escape my fixed mindset and enter into a growth mindset. In Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset, she discusses two different mindsets, a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Dweck attempts to aspire her audience to acknowledge that having a growth mindset will help you succeed, I agree with her.

Throughout elementary school and middle school, good grades came to me naturally. I was able to put in the bare minimum and receive good results. Every report card that came home was filled with mainly A’s or high B’s. My parents would praise me for my ability, but not my effort. Sadly, this caused me to not want to challenge myself, due to the fact that I wanted to look like the best student in my parent’s eyes. When I transitioned to high school, the curriculum became more difficult. But what did I expect? It was bound to happen, life was bound to become more difficult. It was extremely tough for me to cope with my failures, I no longer believed that I was smart. I believed that my intellegence was below average, that I was dumb. This caused me to not want to stretch my abilities and give up easily.

In Chapter 3: “The Truth about Ability and Accomplishment” of Mindset, Dweck discussed how the fixed mindset and growth mindset are affected by praise, praise for their ability versus effort. Dweck’s theory was that praising one’s ability had a negative effect on one’s mindset. She explained to her readers that individuals with a fixed mindset that are praised for their ability are scared of challenges. Individuals with a fixed mindset assume that, “If success had meant they were intelligent, then less-than-success meant they were deficient.” People with the fixed mindset lose faith in their ability when they fail. The fixed mindset consider themselves as the best or the worst. There was no in between for them, unlike the growth mindset where there is room to improve your intelligence. Dweck stated that, “The effort-praised students still loved the problems, and many of them said that the hard problems were the most fun.” Individuals with a growth mindset that are praised for their effort want to keep progressing, they want to challenge themselves.

I never challenged myself in high school, as a matter of fact, I gave up trying in school for a majority of my high school education. Why did I give up? I thought that I was born with a certain amount of intelligence and that studying would not fix it. My A’s and B’s turned into low C’s and D’s. I slowly developed into a student that did not give a crap about anything. I came late to class, would barely take notes, rarely turned in homework assignments, and occasionally studied. This affected my life at home tremendously. My parents saw that I was giving up and my report cards did not help at all. There many nights where my mother and I would argue about the importance of my education. My argument was always, “School isn’t for everyone.” When in reality, I just was not pushing myself to my full potential. I let myself be this “bum” who did not try for many years. It did not hit me that I needed to change my mindset until my mother yelled, “You’re worthless and you’ll never get accepted into any university.” A part of me wanted to brush off what she said, but the other half of me wanted to prove her wrong. Dweck asked a very important question, “What are the consequences of thinking that your intelligence or personality is something you can develop, as opposed to something that is a fixed, deep-seated trait?”

Growing up I believed that my intelligence was given to me when I was born, that my intelligence could not develop into something greater than what I was born with. My fixed mindset was holding me back, I was afraid to try new things. Why was I afraid to try new things? Because I was fearful of being bad at it, but I wanted to grow. Not only did I want to prove my mom wrong, I also wanted to feel better about myself. I was sick of seeing myself as “bum.” Dweck stated that, “The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way — in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments — everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

During my first year of college, I was only attending one class during my fall and winter quarter and I barely passed those classes. “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you?” asked Dweck. I asked myself some of those questions, especially “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better?” For so many years I believed that I could not do better.

When spring quarter came around, I decided that I wanted to challenge myself. Instead of signing up for one class, I signed up for three classes. Dweck mentioned a quote from Benjamin Barber, an eminent political theorist that said, “I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures….I divide the world into the learners and nonlearners.” At this point in my life, I wanted to be a learner. I pushed myself to stay on top of my school work, attend most of my classes, and ask for help. Before when I had a fixed mindset, I would never ask for help. Why did I never ask for help? Because I did not want others to see me as unintelligent for not knowing certain things, but I realized that asking for help is one of the biggest steps you need to take to help you succeed and grow. Dweck stated that, “The first important thing to remember here is that the process includes more than just effort. Certainly, we want children to appreciate the fruits of hard work. But we also want them to understand the importance of trying new strategies when the one they’re using isn’t working. (We don’t want them to just try harder with the same ineffective strategy.) And we want them to ask for help or input from others when it’s needed. This is the process we want them to appreciate: hard work, trying new strategies, and seeking input from others.”

You learn a lot from others and it was silly of me to think that I did not need help from others. As I grew out of my fixed mindset and into my growth mindset, I saw the positive effect it had on my life. I was lost for many years, but as I grew into my growth mindset, I found myself. Every challenge I overcame helped me build myself into a better person. Before my growth mindset, I avoided challenging myself as much as possible because I did not know how to cope with failure. Even Dweck asked herself, “Why would I risk turning from a success into a failure? From a winner into a loser?” when she had a fixed mindset. Failing will always be a painful experience, but what you take from it will help you prosper. Like what Dweck said, “failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.” Every challenge, failure, obstacle, and etc. in life teaches a lesson and if you urge yourself to overcome them, you will succeed.

“The growth mindset does allow people to love what they’re doing — and to continue to love it in the face of difficulties. The growth-minded athletes, CEOs, musicians, or scientists all loved what they did, whereas many of the fixed-minded ones did not.” Dweck points out. The fixed mindset holds individuals back, they avoid challenges and give up when it gets tough. Dweck expresses that people with a fixed mindset are people who want to be smart right away, while on the other hand people with a growth mindset thrives on challenges. The big difference between the two mindsets is that fact that one mindset wants to be born smart and the other wants to gradually improve their intelligence. As humans we are bound to fail and make mistakes every now and then, but what you take from those failures and mistakes build you into who you are. Nobody is perfect, there is always room for self-improvement.

I agree with Dweck’s theory, that in order to obtain success you have to change your mindset to overcome whatever life throws at you. With my growth mindset, I was able to learn from my failures and mistakes so that I could blossom. If I never grew out of my fixed mindset, I would still be that “bum” I was in high school. Growing out of my fixed mindset and into my growth mindset has changed my life for the better.