The Book Didn’t Tell You This!
The Rock Needed the Fixed Mindset Too!
“I wanted to make it [to the NFL] so badly, but guys sometimes in life something you want so badly, sometimes they’re the best dreams that never happen so for me playing in the NFL was the best thing that never happened.”- The Rock. How many times can you fail before calling it quits? When do you know it’s better to give up than to force yourself to keep chasing a dream that doesn’t seem to be materializing? At what point does quitting become the better option? See what The Rock’s said? Sometimes, we just gotta accept and let go! The book didn’t tell you this, because in the growth mindset there is no “quitting”. Failing means learning, there is no giving up. Dweck said that “People with the growth mindset know that it takes time for potential to flower.” They are the kind of people who will stay resilient in the face of adversities and continue to pursue their dreams and goals. The persistence they developed may seem to be admiring at times. Nevertheless, at some point in life, it can be counterproductive as it becomes “blind persistence” which could turn into an exhausting and useless quest. Dweck told us that we can and must change the fixed mindset to the growth mindset in order to enhance our lives. What if I tell you that this is wrong?
Although I do agree that the growth mindset allows people to explore their capabilities and exploit their potentials to the fullest, however, at some point, it is unrealistic to embrace an uncertain future when obviously it is not the right one for you. On the other hand, I do agree that the fixed mindset limit people’s personal growth and developments, nonetheless, this is the mindset that helps us to judge and determine when it’s time to give up on unattainable goals and dreams. Therefore, I believe that the most ideal mindset to have is one that consists of both fixed and growth. In Dweck’s book, I feel like she overexaggerated the bad sides of the fixed mindset while leaving the good parts of it, how it could actually be beneficial to us. At some point in our lives, we need a fixed mindset to help us make better decisions and help us move on. Of course, we also need a growth mindset that motivates us. Most importantly, it is the fixed mindset that helps us strike a balance between reality and expectation, to prevent us from getting our hopes up on unattainable goals. You might be thinking “so are you telling us to go against the idea that a famous psychologist with a Ph.D. purposed to actually listen to a small potato and adopt the “less beneficial” fixed mindset?” No, I’m not telling you to develop a fixed mindset instead of the growth mindset, it is no doubt that the growth mindset is what we need as the fundamental mindset. What I’m trying to tell you is that do not abandon the fixed mindset. Instead of sticking to just one mindset, adopt the growth and fixed mindset simultaneously! Y’all must be thinking “huh? What are you even talking about? How’s that possible?” Well, Dweck did point out that “Many people have elements of both [Fixed and growth mindset]. […] People can also have different mindsets in different areas. […] We’ve found that whatever mindset people have in a particular area will guide them in that area” it is possible to have multiple mindsets in different aspects. Nothing in life is 100 percent flawless, not even the growth mindset! Why not strike a balance in between and adopt the good parts from each side? After all, this mixture of mindsets helped Dwayne Johnson aka the Rock, the world-famous Hollywood’s top star and WWE’s (World Wrestling Entertainment) number one wrestler, got through his darkest time in life.
Have you ever experienced a situation where things aren’t going well but you’re stuck in between thinking whether to give up or persevere a little longer, at the same time, wondering by giving more time and putting more effort, would things actually become better and would you be able to reach your goal or improve the situation? We’ve all have had experienced this kind of situation, what help us get out from this kind of situations is the fixed mindset. As Dweck pointed out “The fixed mindset creates an internal monologue that is focused on judging.” Furthermore, “The fixed mindset makes people complicated. It makes them worried about their fixed traits and creates the need to document them, sometimes at your expense. And it makes them judgmental.” Even though it was portrayed as the downside of fixed mindsets in the book, Dweck seemed to be missing out on one point. If we think deeper, connecting it to the reality, isn’t this “internal monologue that is focused on judging” exactly what we need in situations like these? Dweck claimed that the fixed mindset is “a less beneficial mindset to have”, yet it plays a huge role at some point in our lives. Not only does it help us make the judgment whether or not we should continue to do something, but it also helps us somehow “foresee” and “predict” the future based on our abilities, whether or not it is worth devoting the time and effort, whether or not it is possible to succeed.
Once an aspiring NFL (National Football League) player, Dwayne Johnson was cut from the CFL (Canadian Football League) and was sent home to Florida with only 7 bucks in his pocket at the age of 23. His dream of becoming a professional footballer shattered. The Rock said he was always the “hardest worker in the room” and did everything he could in the CFL, he was determined to make it into the NFL where he dreamt of having a “Super Bowl Champion” football career. However, things didn’t go as planned, he said: “Instead, I was cut from the team, told I wasn’t good enough — and sent home with $7 bucks to my name.” If you were him, what would you do? Would you hang in there and continue to practice and train yourself even harder despite what you have been told from the coach? If yes, then congrats, you have a growth mindset that Dweck admires. I bet Dweck would encourage him to stay persistent and continue to grow and learn while striving for success because that is what the growth mindset purposed. According to Dweck, “How good you are at sports will always improve if you work harder at it.” Moreover, “To be successful in sports, you need to learn techniques and skills and practice them regularly.” Furthermore, she also added that “It’s [potential’s] not something you can know until you’ve put in a lot of effort. Some of the world’s best athletes didn’t start out being that hot. If you have a passion for a sport, put in the effort and see.” Indeed, it is true that effort is the path to mastery, the thing is, the Rock had devoted the previous ten years working hard to improve himself in the football field, obviously, he had the growth mindset, however, he still got rejected. The Rock said in one of his interviews. “After years of blood, sweat, guts, and tears, my dream was over. Fell into depression, didn’t know what to do or where to turn.” The problem here is not about him not making the effort; he did work hard but it didn’t pay off. So, now what?
At this point, it will be useless and stupid to view things through the growth mindset because all it does is telling him to work harder, not to give up, don’t get discouraged by setbacks, basically, it’s just keeping him in captivity in the unattainable goal while giving him false hopes. Dweck said “The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.” “Regardless of how bad you may feel, do it!” 10 years people! He has dedicated a decade of his life to football, how many more should he contribute in order to reach his dream? Unarguably, the growth mindset gives people motivations and inspirations to conquer difficulties. However, this does not mean you have to restrict yourselves to just one goal, especially if it’s an unreachable one. At some point, we have to accept the fact that there are goals that we cannot obtain and would be better off to just let go and move on. The “anti-quitter bias” that the growth mindset somehow promoted has kept many people stuck in jobs, toxic relationships, or promises that aren’t good for them. Back to the Rock, let’s be more sensible and realistic here. Maybe his coach was right, maybe football was not for him? Let’s put it in another way, you have a quarter in your wallet, will it worth more if you polish it or hold on to it longer? No, no matter how hard you polish it or how long you wait, it is still going to worth a quarter only. Similarly, in reality, nobody is going to be great at everything. In some areas, no matter how dedicated you are, how much time or commitments you have devoted to, sometimes you might not get the desired outcomes you’re expecting. As described by Dweck, “People have different resources and opportunities. For example, people with money (or rich parents) have a safety net. They can take more risks and keep going longer until they succeed. People with easy access to […] — all stand a better chance of having their effort pay off. Rich, educated, connected effort works better”. There are a lot of other factors affecting the final outcomes. Given the limited resources and opportunities, some people like the Rock, even with the growth mindset, they might not be able to achieve something they worked hard for. With that being said, there’s no point for anyone to tolerate prolonged failures while trying to accomplish goals or dreams that are less likely to be successful, don’t waste your time and efforts, just move on!
Although some people might still support the idea of having the Rock continue in pursuing his football dream, it is too risky, reckless not to mention pointless. After all, based on his effort in the previous ten years, it would be better to consider changing a goal rather than sticking to it without knowing where it’s going to take him which is kinda irrational. In this situation, by adopting the growth mindset, you’re basically putting your future into a bet. As Dweck mentioned “Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.” Indeed, it is impossible to foretell our future and our potentials will always remain a mystery. For some people, as mentioned above, are totally cool with the commitments, while some might not be able to do as they do not have stable financial support or other external reasons. For example, in the Rock’s case, even if he had continued to pursue his football dream, by the time he really got the “approval” from the coach it would probably be too late. After all, in sports, skills, and abilities seem to be decline with age. In contrary to the growth mindset, Dweck stated that “This leads us back to the idea of “potential” and to the question of whether tests or experts can tell us what our potential is, what we’re capable of, what our future will be. The fixed mindset says yes. You can simply measure the fixed ability right now and project it into the future. When do people with a fixed mindset thrive? When things are safely within their grasp. If things get too challenging — when they’re not feeling smart or talented — they lose interest.” I disagree. Even though in some cases it might possibly be true that people with fixed mindsets only want to stick to what they know in order to maintain their “reputation for personal greatness” as Dweck mentioned. Still and all, some people just happened to be more cautious with things they do.
Dweck has always been encouraging people to view criticisms and mistakes (and failures) as the opportunities to learn and grow. She said “In the rest of your life, seek constructive criticism. […] Focus on that thing. Feel all the emotions that go with it. Now put it in a growth-mindset perspective. Look honestly at your role in it, but understand that it doesn’t define your intelligence or personality. Instead, ask: What did I (or can I) learn from that experience? How can I use it as a basis for growth?” but at the same time, she also said that “But it [the growth mindset] doesn’t tell you how much change is possible or how long change will take. And it doesn’t mean that everything, like preferences or values, can be changed.” People might misunderstand the former idea and think that everything can be improved if they’ve worked hard enough, building up this overly optimistic attitude while neglecting the potential downsides or negatives. In fact, as the latter stated, people! You need to understand that sometimes there will be things that we cannot improve or change and would be better off to just let go. Sometimes people become so overwhelmed by the desire to improve, they lose touch with reality, this persistence may seem to be motivating and effective at first. However, eventually, it turns into “blind persistence” which can have huge costs to people’s mental health and emotional wellbeing. If you have tried, tried hard, but things still don’t work out. You should probably try and look at things through the fixed mindset and evaluate the situations, consider quitting or make some changes, you shouldn’t be draining your mental and physical resources by forcing yourself to stay in a situation when you feel uncomfortable in. Even though people have always been telling us to never give up, frankly speaking, quitting is not always a bad thing. In fact, when done strategically, abandoning the pursuit of a goal may be a much healthier and smarter approach than perverse determinations. Here’s a quote from the Rock “I wanted to make it [to the NFL] so badly, but guys sometimes in life something you want so badly, sometimes they’re the best dreams that never happen so for me playing in the NFL was the best thing that never happened.” By abandoning goals or dreams that seem to be unattainable, you are actually freeing up space and opportunities for yourselves. Quitting is not an obstacle to growth, it is the resettlement of efforts toward something that could actually be beneficial to you which helps you grow.
After giving up his football dream, The Rock moved on to pursue a career in the wrestling field where It has been passed down the family. Shortly after, The Rock was considered by many to be one of the greatest to ever entered the ring, he was successful in the wrestling field. Dweck would probably say “You may be robbing yourself of an opportunity by underestimating your talent in the first area.”, but wouldn’t he be limiting himself from a bigger and better future by sticking to just one area, not knowing whether or not he will succeed? Instead of sabotaging your efforts on uncertain things, why not spend it on doing something different, something that gives you more pleasure, something that you know certainly you can do well. Dweck would probably disagree, using Michael Jordan’s experience as a defense “Michael Jordan wasn’t a natural, either. He was the hardest-working athlete, perhaps in the history of the sport. It is well known that Michael Jordan was cut from the high school varsity team […] He wasn’t recruited by the college he wanted to play for (North Carolina State). […] He wasn’t drafted by the first two NBA teams that could have chosen him.” Apparently, Michael Jordan had also gone through a similar situation where he got cut from his team. However, unlike the Rock, Michael Jordan didn’t give up, yet, he continued to work even harder. As Dweck described “He [Michael Jordan] used to leave the house at six in the morning to go practice before school. At the University of North Carolina, he constantly worked on his weaknesses — his defensive game and his ball-handling and shooting. The coach was taken aback by his willingness to work harder than anyone else.” Additionally, “Even at the height of his success and fame — after he had made himself into an athletic genius — his dogged practice remained legendary. Former Bulls assistant coach John Bach called him “‘a genius who constantly wants to upgrade his genius.’” Well, I have to admit after looking at this, I did waver in my stance on the fixed mindsets. I thought “maybe she’s right, maybe the Rock shouldn’t quit, perhaps if he (the Rock) had a hold on a bit longer, he could’ve probably become ‘the Michael Jordan in the football field’.” I felt strongly about the need to abandon the fixed mindsets.
But then! After I did further research on Michael Jordan, I discovered that he had also gone through a short-term career change where he tried to play baseball. However, he soon figured that baseball was not for him and decided to return to the NBA after his relatively unsuccessful season playing baseball. (hmm…I wonder why Dweck didn’t put this in her book) Obviously, he had made the right choice by giving up baseball and going back to the basketball field instead. Come on, we all know his achievements in the basketball field are legendary. Imagine what if Michael Jordan had not let go of his baseball goal, what if the Rock had not given up his football dream? Would they be able to have today’s success? As you can see, the “internal monologue that is focused on judging” play an important role in helping us grow. If you are still skeptical about my opinion. Let’s hear what the Professor said, Dweck pointed out that “When people hold on to a fixed mindset, it’s often for a reason. At some point in their lives, it served a good purpose for them. It told them who they were or who they wanted to be (a smart, talented child) and it told them how to be that (perform well).” Every so often, fixed mindsets are beneficial to us. According to Dweck, “The fixed mindset creates the feeling that you can really know the permanent truth about yourself. And this can be comforting: You don’t have to try for such-and-such because you don’t have the talent. You will surely succeed at thus-and-such because you do have the talent.” Occasionally, we need assurance, don’t you agree?
In the beginning, I talked about having both growth and fixed mindset simultaneously, you might be wondering “how is that possible?”. According to Dweck, “It’s also important to realize that even if people have a fixed mindset, they’re not always in that mindset.” Just like the Rock, “Eventually, I picked myself back up again, […] refocused and committed myself to a different path.” The Rock was in the fixed mindset when he had to give up football, but then, he quickly regained the growth mindset after deciding to pursue another goal. Remember when I said the growth mindset is what we need as the fundamental mindset, here’s what I meant: “In 1995 I had $7 bucks in my pocket and knew two things: I’m broke as hell and one day I won’t be.”, “When life puts you in touchy situations, don’t say ‘Why Me?’ Just say ‘Try Me.’”, “I like to use the hard times of the past to motivate me today.” — Dwayne Johnson. This is the kind of motivation that only those with the growth mindset possess, they might have a fixed mindset at times but they never abandon the growth mindset. Even though the Rock had encountered a lot of unpleasant experiences, he never stopped learning. As Dweck pointed out “Those with the growth mindset found setbacks motivating. They’re informative. They’re a wake-up call.” Furthermore, despite failing previously, not once did the Rock ever devalued efforts. “The road to success and greatness is always paved with consistent hard work. Outwork your competitors, be authentic, and above all else, chase your greatness.”, “Success will always be driven by focus & effort — and we always control both.”, “Success isn’t overnight. It’s when every day you get a little better than the day before. It all adds up.” — Dwayne Johnson. He understands the importance of effort which is the path to mastery.
Let’s have a growth mindset and accept the fact that from time to time we do need a fixed mindset. We shouldn’t underestimate our abilities by thinking that our skills are fixed, but at the same time, we shouldn’t overestimate the unknown potentials that we think we have. Don’t be afraid of quitting when it is not the right choice for you. On the other hand, constantly learning and growing when you’ve found the right goals. And most importantly, strike a balance between the growth and fixed mindset, it is yours to decide when to use which.
