Creating an Emotional Safe Space: Self-Awareness; What is That?
Not long ago, I asked my spiritually enlightened father what self-awareness means to him. Without any hesitation, he began to patiently explain to me. Self-awareness is:
A form of self-consciousness that allows people to be emotionally, mentally, and physically aware. Creating presences amongst others, but also realizing the impact this has on others…
I remember calling out no to his response, but he just continued speaking. I thought, when you’re self-aware you don’t really care what others think of you, you don’t really mind their presence as long as you stay truthful to yourself. Why should the impact of others affect you in any way? And besides, even if it did have any impact on others, that’s their own journey to go through. Being self-aware is being aware of your intentions, emotions, beliefs, ticks, and habits. Maybe it does include the impact you have on others, keeping you grounded and aligned with your intentions…
…but it also depends on how others perceive you…
No. I mean, well, yes, it is good to be aware of how others perceive you but it isn’t healthy for you to conform to those ideologies. My point is, no one really knows you, except you. And even the version of you that you know isn’t complete. We’re always changing, growing, and evolving. We’re not static, two-dimensional beings. Something that may be you at the moment, might not be you in a couple of years, or maybe even days. We’re ever-changing beings that shouldn’t base our self-truth on the way others perceive us. That isn’t what self-awareness is…
…This leads you to a higher level of consciousness. Allowing you to add layers of behavior. If we maintain conformity and acceptance, this leads to self-esteem issues, self-projections.
Instability. I couldn’t help but think if being self-aware is this complicated why on earth would anyone want to be self-aware in the first place? My father continued:
We are self-aware both through nature and through nurture. Through nature, it’s a technique of survival. And through nurture, we conform to social norms whether or not they are imposed or explained on the individual.
A part of me wondered if I miscommunicated with my father. I wanted to understand how to maintain this self-awareness within me… I didn’t really care about society and societal norms. And I didn’t really care about how self-awareness is a survival technique. There’s no way it could be… Right?
A Laconian explanation would be: a subject is duped into believing their image is A) real B) under their control and C) whole.
Confusing, right? Let’s break it down together. When dealing with self-awareness, you become hyper-aware of the world around you. It is no longer a survival instinct, but rather a tool to help you ground and re-ground yourself whenever you feel lost. People’s self-projection can be used as starting points to build boundaries, and help maintain who you truly are. Being self-aware can be a brilliant thing because it allows you to truly look within, and find what you are seeking within this life.
Maybe I’m just speaking for myself here, but with my newfound self-awareness, I realized that everything I needed, I could find within me. And that’s the first step towards creating your own emotional safe space.
