Crypto and Celebrities: A Sunday Shill
Similarities between Australian Actors and crypto-currencies
1. (XRP) Ripple and Jarred “Toadie” Rebecchi
XRP and Toadie share similar characteristics. At inception, both showed remarkable promise, however soon after, there was a realisation that this was not to be the case. XRP and Toadie have both fundamentally turned out to be failures. XRP keeps pumping out tokens, therefore devaluing the tokens and causing too much supply. The project is largely flawed, much like the life that is Toadie Rebecchi. The bumbling but potentially loveable Neighbours lifer, is largely a failure. He will forever be etched into our consciousness due to his constant exposure (indecent) on our afternoon television screens. Hopefully both go away soon (permanently).
2. (BTC) Bitcoin and Margot Robbie played as Donna Freedman in neighbours
Both are good looking and used to being the star of the show. Bitcoin a pioneer and Margot Robbie a standout product of the Australian soap-opera circuit. Robbie played Donna Freedman, a star who had a saucy lesbian affair with Sunny Lee on Neighbours. Bitcoin has had a saucy lesbian affair with our wallets and perception of a store of value. Both of which we strongly approve of.
3. (ETH) Ethereum and Danni Minogue
Ethereum provides the network in which many (up-to 90%) of the de-fi projects run on. And Danni Minogue occupied 90% of our thought process during our junior high-school years. Admittedly Danni lives in the shadow of older sister Kylie; much like Ethereum lives in the shadow of its older sibling Bitcoin. However the pair work as a remarkable duo, with Ethereum providing the network to enable and assist decentralised finance and Bitcoin the flagship currency in the ecosystem. Decentralised finance in crypto, means a currency that is digital and free from central bank and major bank interference. Meaning there are many currencies all with their own specific design. The free market will sift through each, culling and redefining the crypto-currencies to mold their practical use.
4. (USDT) US Dollar Tether Token and Hugh Jackman
Largely stable and consistent. Hugh Jackman shares similarities with USDT. The US Dollar Tether coin (or token), is a crypto currency tied to the value of the US dollar. It’s what we call in the industry as a ‘stable coin’. Take into context it is as stable as the US dollar, which like any floating currency, fluctuates in comparative value and purchasing power.
Back to Hugh Jackman — Jacko is certainly fully Americanised by now, relatively stable, consistent and regarded as a leader in the field. Jackman and USDT share these qualities, but as Jackman ages, and his wolverine steroid cycles wear off, there is a slight feeling that Jackman; much like the Greenback has passed its peak and is in the dying stages of an empire.
5. Polkadot (DOT) and Chris Hemsworth
Polkadot is a network similar to the Ethereum Network. Polkadot is a network protocol that allows arbitrary data — not just tokens (coins) — to be transferred across blockchains. Polkadot can transfer this data across public, open, permissionless blockchains as well as private, permissioned blockchains. Similar to Polkadot, Chris Hemsworth is the relatively new kid on the block, however has proven to be successful in his ventures so far. Hemsworth (DOT) is the success project that Toadie Rebechhi (Ripple XRP) should have been. Polkadot has provided arguably improved additions to an Etheruem style network. Polkadot and Hemsworth have not yet stood the test of time, but have all the hallmarks of a Hollywood/crypto star. Hopefully Polka (DOT) extinguishes Toadie Rebbechie (XRP) forever.
6. Bitcoin Cash and Luke Hemsworth (i’m Smat!)
The team behind Bitcoin Cash is substandard and the coin is ultimately useless. The network is of a poor design. The network is easily hacked and hackers are doing what they want with the transactions, often misdirecting and stealing Bitcoin Cash. Like BTC Cash is to Bitcoin, Luke Hemsworth is to older brother Chris Hemsworth. Luke is the slightly deranged and potentially retarded version of his succesful older brothers Chris and Liam. Luke may be missing a chromosome and like BTC Cash is viewed as the “Fredo” of the Family. Fredo, was the simpleton brother of the Corleone family in the Godfather. BTC Cash is the deranged simpleton of the Bitcoin family. “Hey Michael and Sonny, I’m not Stoopid! I’m SMAT!” — quote from BTC “Fredo” Cash.
7. Chainlink (LINK) and Eric Bana
At first, Chainlike was taken as a bit of a joke, not dissimilar to Eric Bana, who started his career as a bit of a larrikin aussie comedian. Chainlink initially appeared to many as a bit of a joke, a project not taken fully seriously. However it became apparent that Chainlinks design was a lot more talented than initially thought. Chainlinks primary purpose is to upload centralised data onto the blockchain network in a secure manner. Without the Chainlink protocol, much of the decentralised-finance boom we are witnessing today would not exist. This is because Chainlink helps secure the data for a lot of projects that live in the blockchain ecosystem. Chainlink can also act as an executor of contracts and a myriad of other useful purposes. Chainlink is dynamic and interesting, Eric Bana provides similar qualities as Chopper Read and a sniper in Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down. Once taken as a joke, Bana and Chainlink have established themselves as serious players.
8. Binance Coin and Michael Caton.
Binance Coin is king of the jungle, in the jungle that is the largest crypto exchange (Binance). With no true natural advantages, rather than being the custodial coin of Binance, by mere placement, Binance Coin is 8th largest in the world in market capitalisation. Michael Caton is a fairly interesting actor, big in Australia and iconic in the domestic acting circuit. But Caton will never really be important outside of Australia and he does not really have any natural advantages. A crusty old actor that seems reasonable and reliable, there are no major criticisms nor compliments that can be directed to Binance Coin or Michael Caton. Caton was in The Castle, which was funny and cool. However we don’t really want to see too much more of Caton or Binance Coin, hopefully Covid takes them both out.
9. Stellar Coin and and Vince Colosimo
Stellar Coin is a payment systems network released in 2014. The point being that the Stellar network would create a decentralized banking system. The de-fi project helped create a network of users who could verify payments and create a more efficient banking system, with a focus on micro-loans. The project was launched by XRP Ripple and Mt Gox. exchange founder Jed McCaleb. The payment network has a coin named Stellar Coin.
The project appeared to be headed in the right direction, however has failed to deliver, except for a Nigerian micro-lending project they are apparently involved in. This merger involves a Nigerian Prince and your email account, and long lost Royal Nigerian inheritance money you must help him retrieve with your credit card. The whole thing is pretty fraudulent, much like the life of Vince Colosimo. I honestly found Colosimo hugely entertaining in 90’s Aussie crime film Chopper, as Western Sydney drug dealer Neville Bartos. At that point Colosimo’s career looked promising, however he has turned out to be a one trick pony. His latest appearance in the stale and simple comedy movie ‘Wog Boys’ was an exemplary display of the sub-average acting/comedy/lives of the b-grade Australian film world. Similar to many of these projects, Stellar coin started promising with a number of pumped up valuations, but ultimately turned out to be a largely flawed protocol. Vince Colosimo is also like this, as he is a largely flawed project; and between his latest c-grade acting gigs, he is generally seen fighting minor meth-related criminal matters in the Melbourne Magistrates court.
10. The Tron Protocol and Alf Stewart (Ray Meagher)
The Tron Protocol was launched by Justin Sun, mainland chinese crypto faux-wunderkind. The protocol (digital system) is a fork from the Ethereum network. A fork, is a generalised term for web developers taking the existing technology and re-branding it as their own, with their changes. If you recall from above, Ethereum is the network that many projects run on (ERC-20 network). Tron gained a lot of hype during ICO (initial coin offering) and managed to raise approx. US$70m. The project then grew to a considerable market cap, and allowed project founder Sun to quickly expand, buying up platforms and streaming services such as BitTorrent and Poloniex (exchange). One issue with Tron is that through the fork process on Ethereum it has largely been accused of IP theft, data theft and plagiarism of the Eth Whitepaper and overall project. Having bought BitTorrent, BitTorrent then launched a token on the Tron network to tokenize/monetise a transaction network for BitTorrent. The primary problem Tron has faced here is that the transaction speed on the network has been substandard, and the network uses a lot of energy to power it. Founder Justin Sun is a shameless self promoter and an individual that does not stop talking nor go away. Alf Stewart, crusty c-grade Home and Away weirdo, just doesnt go away. Alf Stewart has been infecting the ordinary Australians’ lives since the 1930’s — when he was hatched. He is regularly heavy breathing on afternoon television as the old man who looks after things in Summer Bay. He appears to be semi-immortal and just keeps living as the crusty pre-boomer on afternoon TV. Tron and Justin Sun have similar qualities and just won’t die, hopefully they all go away soon and leave the good citizens of the Earth in peace. In Alf Stewart’s very own words…”listen here Sancho, we’ve all had enough…”
