Dear past me
Dear past me,
Hey there! I hope you are doing well. I have been busy but if you ask what ‘s up? I don’t know .There is nothing much to tell. Life throws so many things at me and all I can do is be anxious.
There are times when I just sit by my window sill, contemplating about life and zone out for a while. In the melancholy of those moments, I really do wish that time had never split us apart. I wish I hadn’t changed. I wish I were still you.
I have kind of started to envy you now. You have those things which I wish I hadn’t lost on my way of growing up; a heart brimming with pure love and the warmth of sweet innocence. And look what has become of me? I am drowning in sadness, burning with hatred, pacing with worries, dealing with fears and battling with time. In short, I am not doing that great as you would expect.
Being naïve and care free is really a blessing, you know? Because, once you get to know what the world is really like, there is no going back. I’ve suffered, struggled and trudged so far up in life. The fear of missing out on so many things has driven me insane. But now I wish I had not known fear at all. I wish I could come back and lock myself in your world forever but the door won’t open for me anymore.
I know about your dreams, your fantasies and how much you yearn to be a grown up adult. But let me stop you right there. Because, in plain words, growing up sucks! If it’s growing up that has made me like this, I honestly want you stay where you are, amidst the bliss.
We are the choices we make. As time passes, I am becoming less and less of a human, confined in the world called ‘I’. Not a day goes by where I do not sulk about my mistakes or regret the choices I’ve made. I curse time and wish I had never grown up. If only I could ‘board the time’ and join you there and be who I really was…
Lots of Love,
Your Future self
