Dear Arkansas Heat
I was not built for this kind of heat. I was not prepared for you to show up and destroy my comfort. Threaten my life. Make wearing clothing super uncomfortable.
I don’t wanna swim. It’s too hot.
I don’t grocery shop. It’s too hot.
I don’t wanna check my mail. It’s too hot!
It’s! Too! Dang! Hot!
My clothes don’t want to stay where they are supposed to. I got garments sliding around on my body from the sweat. I got garments sticking to my skin. It’s not okay. How dare you come at me like this. I wasn’t ready.
I drank over 100 ounces of water and still felt like I was dying. I had a headache at work and everyone around me was struggling to survive. This is just plain rude of you.
Lastly, let us talk about the state of my air unit. It’s in a constant state of heavy breathing. The dang thing is screaming and can barely keep up with this kind of assault. I fear the day it decides to forfeit its life and end its misery.
I would appreciate it if you could back off just a bit.
Spare my body.
The Girl Who Would Just Like To Stop Sweating.