Just Say No

Darin Evangelista
Jul 25, 2017 · 2 min read

This is not a story about drug use sponsored by Nancy Reagan, but I guess it could be. This is a lesson on bailing, inspired by two articles:

The Golden Age of Bailing by David Brooks from the New York Times and Flake On Me Once… Actually, Just Don’t Flake by Brendan Leonard from Outside.

Big things get done because people show up to do them, not because they half-ass some plans, kind of commit, show up late, and get lucky. — Brendan Leonard

I wouldn’t say I am the worst, but I have definitely bailed on my fair share of engagements. Mostly plans made late at night, fueled by vices I am trying so desperately to quit, or cut back on, I can’t remember what I most recently decided on.

But I don’t want to bail on people. I don’t want to be that person that is a known flake. That person sucks and you don’t want to be that person, or at least you shouldn’t. But why do we do it? Because it is easier to say “yes” to something and bail on it later than it is to say “no” from the get-go. Why should we say no? Because if we don’t want to do something, the answer should be no. It shouldn’t be “yeah, totally” followed by a last minute text with some made up excuse. We should say “no” because saying anything else would be dishonest to yourself and to the person you will eventually be bailing on.

So I resolve to say no.

I resolve to say no because I don’t want to be the person always bailing. I would rather be the person that doesn’t get invited to things because everyone knows I don’t want to do them. Is that bad? Hell no! The only reason people want to be invited to everything is because we are insecure and want to feel needed/loved/popular.

Saying no and/or not getting invited to things has some amazing benefits. For one, it allows you to free up time for yourself. Time that could be used exploring your passions, your neighborhood, your world or even your Netflix queue.

Saying no is the fastest way to liberate your calendar and your life. Saying no opens up the opportunity to say yes to the things you really care about. Why would you want to cheat yourself out of that?

So no. I will not do that thing that doesn’t sound that great this weekend.

minimalist.mindset

A collection of stories focusing on less.

Darin Evangelista

Written by

Doing more with less.

minimalist.mindset

A collection of stories focusing on less.

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