RESTED

As I sit there, I see the man I love for all the reasons I love him and all the reasons I shouldn’t have him. I see the depth of my own affections and how much I’ll give to see the roar in him come to stillness but I know he has to find his own true North.

I see all these and I stop fighting; I stop kicking and screaming in my heart, I stop bitching and weeping in my head. I come into stillness.

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This Love will only be loved from afar. this affection will not be enough to serve as a balm in Gilead. this desire to pour me out will not fill us; it will drain me.

I stop kicking and screaming in my heart as I walk away knowing the man I love and all the reasons I shouldn’t have him.