Gravestone Ad-Space Salesman Reaps Market [Makes a Killing!]

After the death of a loved one, the last thing anyone wants to do is plan the funeral. But for some, planning isn’t even an option. Rising costs of caskets, plots, headstones, and funeral services are leading many to cremate their loved ones, even against their religious beliefs.

That’s where Dino Ruggere, Philadelphia businessman, came up with the novel idea for his business, Clicks for Stiffs.

Ruggere’s business allows a family, without funds for a funeral, to sublease a portion of the deceased’s gravestone to him. He then generates profit by renting the space to advertisers. Most of the gravestone advertisements utilize touchscreens built directly into the stones, whereby grievers can directly interact and click on the ads.

Despite some initial hesitation, Clicks for Stiffs has experienced rapid growth and success.

“Yeah, people fucking love it,” says Ruggere. “And why the hell not? You get your stone, the suits get their clicks, everybody wins.”

When questioned about the tackiness of advertisements on gravestones, Ruggere commented, “Better an ad than hell. Some people don’t wanna be all burnt up. Look at the hardcore Jews and the some of the Bible freaks. They’d rather rent their stone for a bit and pay it off over a couple a years, you know?”

The public and business-world couldn’t agree more. Industries including flower shops, dating services, nanny services, housekeepers, delivery food, and social networks have all capitalized on this burgeoning market.

“Everybody wants a taste of the action,” said Ruggere. “The food biz especially. Pizza shops, let me tell ya, holy shit, the first few that bought ad-space are rolling in it! Nobody wants to eat out after their brother dies. Read my lips, no-body.”

“And I really feel like I’m helping too, ya know? These people get to rest in peace… And the local business gets a piece… What do you want?”