That’s How Love Moves
On the Christian Call to Empathy and Humility
July 28, 2024
Tenth Sunday after Pentecost, Year B
St. Stephen’s UMC, Burke, VA
Philippians 2:1–11 (NRSVUE)*
*A Sermon Series on Movement
I wonder if you have ever noticed one of these signs on the utility poles as you drive through neighborhoods and highways here in Northern Virginia.
Over the past three years, one man has been hanging up these “empathy” signs throughout the DMV. A former teacher who wishes to remain anonymous says that he has hung more than 1,500 signs so far and will continue to do so as a way of giving back to the community — his effort to help counteract the growing divisiveness in society.
I assume these signs are generally accepted as inspiring and harmless, but I can also understand if some view them as obnoxious and condescending. Our perception of the word “empathy” is a bit complicated. It is a relatively new term introduced in the early 20th century within the field of psychology. Because its concept is both new and abstract, we are still confused about what empathy is compared to terms like sympathy and compassion. Also, the term “empathy” has somewhat become a buzzword in recent years as it is increasingly recognized as an essential skill of an emotionally intelligent person. Empathy is now a common topic in today’s leadership training.
The most complicated part of empathy is perhaps whether it is an innate gift or a skill that can be cultivated. Some people are naturally gifted with a high degree of empathy, while others may lack it. For some, empathy is like their sixth sense, which cannot be turned off. For others, empathy is a life-draining technique reserved only for special occasions.
While it makes sense that empathy can be both a natural trait and a learned skill, I have been questioning whether this call for empathy is really effective in bringing people together in unity. Is it fair to expect everyone to be empathetic to a certain degree, considering that not everyone’s capacity for empathy is the same?
When asked about why these empathy signs, the sign-man answered the NBC4 Washington reporter, saying:
“I’m reminding people to think about empathy. Don’t want to tell them what to think, just calling their attention to the process of empathy and allowing them to take it where it leads them.”
And so today, that’s exactly what we are going to do. I want to invite us to think about this process of empathy in the context of our sermon series theme, “movement,” and see where the Holy Spirit leads us.
First, I want to begin by watching this short video together from Brené Brown, whom you may know from her books, podcasts, or lectures.
There is a lot of good stuff in this short video. And what I want to focus on is the process of empathy, which involves coming off the ladder. The biggest difference between sympathy and empathy is distance. The sympathetic deer never comes all the way down to be with the grieving fox. The deer’s foot never hits the floor and keeps a certain distance from the fox. But the empathetic bear comes off the ladder and sits next to the grieving fox, ultimately forming a connection.
Just to be clear, today’s scripture includes the word “sympathy,” which is not the most accurate translation. The original Greek word can also be translated as affection, intestines, or heart; and what the word emphasizes is the capacity to feel the inward parts, the deep emotion. There is another word in the Bible that is often translated as sympathy as well, like in 1 Peter 3:8 where it says, “All of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” And the Greek word for sympathy here means “to suffer with.” So, while the English word for empathy does not exist in the Bible, its concept definitely is.
We can acknowledge another person’s pain from a distance, and that’s what sympathy is. Empathy is what happens when you bridge that distance to feel the deep emotion of another person or to suffer with another person. To bridge that distance, you must come off the ladder.
There is a ladder that is often used to train people in their decision-making skills. This is called the Ladder of Inference. The idea is that often subconsciously, we go through this process when making decisions. We begin with observations, then select data from facts and reality, add meaning to the selected observations, make assumptions based on these meanings, draw conclusions from our assumptions, adopt beliefs based on our conclusions, and then finally take actions based on our beliefs.
But often, once gone through this process as an individual or as an organization and found something that works, we kind of don’t want to go back down again to where the real data exists. Instead, we keep making decisions based on our preconceived beliefs, conclusions, or assumptions. The most dangerous phrase in any organization is this: ‘We’ve always done it this way.’ And this phrase is basically a refusal to come off the ladder. I believe what makes an organization successful is having the discipline to keep coming off the ladder so that the actions and decisions are founded on the facts and reality of today’s fast-changing world.
This is exactly why we are doing the congregational survey. Instead of making decisions based on what a small group of people think is important to our congregation, we are coming off the ladder to gather information from the stories of real people — from all of you. That is why it is so important not only for us to hear from you all but also for you to gather values from your actual stories and not from the top of your mind.
I think this model can also be applied to what we do as a church, whether that is congregational care, evangelism, outreach, or children’s and youth ministry. For questions like, “How can we care for our own people? How can we share good news with new people? How can we help people in need? How can we show God’s love to our young people?” a popular answer within the church nowadays is “meet people where they are.” And to do so, we must come off our ladder. Instead of making decisions based on our preconceived beliefs, conclusions, or assumptions, we must go meet people where they are, hear their stories, learn their names, understand their situations, and observe their dreams and longings. The actions we take after becoming aware of, understanding, and being motivated to respond to the needs of others describe compassion. And I truly believe that acts of compassion can be carried out with or without empathy. What is required is the discipline of continually coming off our ladder.
Most importantly, this movement of coming off the ladder is what we see in the life of Jesus Christ. This is what incarnation is all about. That God so loved the world that God sent the only Son Jesus Christ to be where we are. That God came down to where we are in the form of our likeness to be with us. That God came down and lived among us so that we might have a real connection with him. Jesus Christ is Jacob’s dream come true (Genesis 28:10–22) — the ladder that connects earth and heaven is now permanent, that God is with us always, to the end of the age. And this is possible because we do not have a high priest who is out of touch with our reality, but who has been through weakness and testing, who has experienced it all — all but sin (Hebrews 4:15).
If we give a term to this idea of moving off the ladder, it would be humility. And that’s what today’s scripture highlights, the self-emptying humility of Jesus Christ:
who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
as something to be exploited,
but emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness.And being found in human form,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to the point of death —
even death on a cross.
What the Apostle Paul was calling for the Church in Philippi, which was going through factionalism, is unity through having the same mind of Christ, To Paul, what characterizes the mind of Christ was his self-emptying humility. It is the self-emptying humility that allows us to come off our ladder, which is often marked by our pride, privilege, power, or even simply our selfish preferences which we consider harmless. We worship the loving God who willingly sacrificed all these things to be with us so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.
Throughout the gospels, we read about Jesus constantly getting off the ladder to go to places where the religious did not want to go — to be with the sick, to be with the sinners, and to be with the lowly. And we see the acts of the apostles following the same movement, moving from Jerusalem to Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth; meeting people where they are, whether that is in their chariot, house, prison, public townhall, and so forth.
This is what loving God and loving neighbors should look like: because we love God who came off the ladder to be with us, we too come off our ladder to be with God in Christ’s communion with others. Christians are neither called to defend the gospel nor help the people. Rather, Christians are called to follow Christ. And when we follow Christ in his movement of coming off the ladder, what happens organically is the gospel being proclaimed and the people being loved through many means. And just as God exalted Jesus Christ who humbled himself, God will exalt those who humble themselves before the Lord (James 4:10).
Like Paul, I believe what can possibly bring people together in unity during this time of factionalism and tribalism is humility — the act of continually getting off our ladders. And again, humility is not simply a tactic to counteract today’s divisiveness, but it should be a trait for all Christians who are called to follow Christ.
As we continue to navigate this ever-fracturing world as a people called church, I pray that not only our ministries and missions, but also our daily walks as individuals follow the movement of coming off the ladder, that we would go all places everywhere with the mind of Christ, for the Lord Jesus Christ is with us and with them.
In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Rev. Minoo Kim is an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church, currently serving in the Virginia Annual Conference. Follow his Medium publication to receive his latest sermons or check out his website minoowkim.com for his latest content. Peace!
