Sucky Thing Announcement

Dear __________,

Please note that I have experienced a Sucky Thing:

  • Divorce
  • Miscarriage
  • Terrifying diagnosis
  • Job layoff
  • Bankruptcy
  • Bereavement
  • Foreclosure
  • Professional rejection
  • ______________

The bare-bones details

  • are none of your business.
  • are, in one sentence or less, that _______________________________.

I [do]|[do not]|[do, but only a little]|[unequivocally do not] want to talk about it.

If you wish to offer condolences, I will graciously accept your offer of

  • Complete no-contact
  • Meals
  • Silent prayers/vibes/thoughts
  • Babysitting
  • Tequila
  • Cash
  • Removal of my name from your contacts list
  • LinkedIn references
  • Blind date set-up
  • Furniture/baby item/marital property removal
  • A punching bag

Please note my new [name]|[address]|[resume]|[lover]|[life plan]:

_____________
_____________
_____________

If you personally have been through a similar Sucky Thing, I [do]|[do not] want to hear about it.

My sensitivity to this Sucky Thing might change in the future. With this in mind, you may follow-up to ask me additional questions on this date:

  • In a month
  • In a year
  • In a decade
  • After I eat something
  • After I start sleeping again
  • When hell freezes over

Please [do]|[do not] share this announcement with others in our mutual circle, since I might not have remembered to tell everyone’s uncles yet.

Sincerely,

_______________


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