What I learnt from the girls of Japan

While working on a project focussed on gender empowerment in the public education system, I ended up interviewing over 30 females, with ages ranging from 9–24.

The interviews gave me a chance not only to see what life is like from the perspective of women and girls growing up, living and working in Japan but it also offered me an opportunity to connect with people that I would have otherwise never met. I also learnt an incredible amount about a culture that can often seem extremely elusive to a foreigner.

Through all the interviews I started to think and dig deeper about ingrained cultural norms, values and stereotypes, making me reflect deeply about how one even goes about dismantling negative gender stereotypes and the role that education plays. During a previous workshop I had done, I was struck by the humility that is ever-present in Japan. During an interview with a 13-year-old girl, humility was brought up but in an unexpected way.

She began by telling me that she thought that many girls in her school, including her, are in need of workshops on communication and language. She said that they are often taught to introduce themselves using derogatory language, to show their humility and how that language which one uses to introduce and explain themselves is often internalised and results in how these girls view themselves. It was the other side of humility that I had never thought of before, the side that is not often talked about. She then said it was tough because when she recognised this and tried to change the language she was using to introduce and describe herself, she was chastised by a teacher to be “more humble and ladylike.”

This is just one example of the many anecdotes and lessons that I learnt from the interviewees; everyone came with their own valuable and vulnerable stories and experiences to share. Many referred to how school feels like an “army” or a “bubble,” and how socially girls “always move in groups and never alone.” Others as young as 14 referred to their worry of a work-life balance between children, a household and a job. 12 year-olds told me of how they wake up at 530am, sleep at 10 pm and when asked what they want to do in their free time they said “sleep.” There seemed to be a constant worry on these girls minds about their exams, test scores, college entrance exams and how they compared to their peers. When we asked about what they would be interested in doing in their futures, many told us they hadn’t had the time to think about that yet. Instead, they were focussed on passing the exams to get into university.

I would have never met any of the people I interviewed had it not been for my internship opportunity with Mistletoe, and for that, I am incredibly grateful and humbled. As someone who is hugely politically and civically driven with a passion for social impact and women’s rights, I think of this as one of my most valuable experiences. The opportunity to talk and hear from Japanese women and girls about topics and stories that are often considered taboo — gave me more insight and understanding of what it is like to be a woman in Japan. To truly engage with an issue and topic like gender empowerment can be so difficult because we all just want to find a way to fix it. But fixing it means taking the time to understand what and where is broken before we can hope to offer solutions.

Real change comes from a place of mutual understanding, a place where people feel empowered and enabled to come forward and share their stories, to bring support back to their communities, and begin shaping the ways in which we will educate the next generations to break the cycles associated with the disempowerment of females.

Below are several quotes from interviewees.

“The more educated you are, the less marriageable.”

“Schools don’t teach us to think about ourselves, it’s all about textbooks and exams, [we’re] never asked about our opinions.”

“[Schools feels] closed and army like, like a bubble.”

“We need to get rid of the phrase: be like a girl.”

“Girls should move alone more, not always in groups.”

“We always have to think about marriage and childbirth, boys never have to.”