Why I’m Not Going to Be Friends With My Ex-affair Partner
“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” Rumi
I was recently at a workshop on digital safety for students. The presenter modeled an exercise where she gave each table of students a red, yellow, and green card. She said the cards modeled a stop sign. When confronting an issue in the digital world, she asked the students what card they should hold up. Red is a clear sign to stop right there. Yellow is a sign to proceed with caution, and green is a sign that it is safe to continue.
In one of the scenarios, the presenter asked the students, “Is it okay if a friend you made on the Internet insists you have to be a secret friend and not tell anyone?”
Of course, every table held up a red sign without hesitation.
Now, I understand that these are minors and that a secret friendship oozes a child predator situation. However, those two words, secret friendship, stayed with me long after I left the workshop.
I’ve written before that I regretted breaking no contact with my ex-affair partner. I felt I finally healed from that eight-year relationship because I had let go of my anger towards him. As I wrote, I was in a good place to check in with him. Yet, when I did contact him, he saw it as an…
