The “Perfect” Smartwatch

Smartwatches as we know them have only truly been available for a handful of years now and determining whether or not you actually want to buy one can be difficult. The mere idea of them elicits the feeling of something very futuristic. The idea of a high tech watch that can do almost anything has been pressed into our collective unconscious as a sign that we’re in the future. The thing is, we have them now, yet it’s proven a bit difficult to figure out what to do with them.

For the most part companies and consumers seem to instinctively want it to mirror the functionality of a smartphone. Not only does that notion lack a sense of bravado at face value but it also turns out that it’s not very compelling in execution either. Another common thought is that we might talk into our watches, but then again everyone walking around talking on speaker might cause a massive feedback loop, destroying the planet (and then we’d really look like assholes, wouldn’t we).

everyone walking around talking on speaker might cause a massive feedback loop, destroying the planet

Each time a new company goes around parading their newest wrist mounted display I’m always left wanting. Maybe if the bezel were a bit thinner, the battery life a bit better, the display a little sharper… But when I get down to the bottom of it I can’t precisely tell you why I want those things. Which has lead me to the question: what would a “perfect” smartwatch be like?

I’ll be honest. I’ve thought about this for a while and I’m struggling to come up with an idea that would convince me to get one.

Trust me, this isn’t for lack of wanting one. I want dearly to be convinced to buy a smartwatch, they just always seem to be missing something. There are, clearly, a certain set of must have features. It must tell the time and receive notifications from my smartphone. After that, it’s sort of a toss up. Should it focus on being a personal assistant? Once again I have little interest in talking to my wrist in public, and trying to mask it will either make me look like a shady government operative or, more likely, an inane person.

I want dearly to be convinced to buy a smartwatch

This leaves me with a troubling thought… What if there is no such thing as the perfect smartwatch? What if the thing we were always shown as being a fantastic technology of the future is just a dead end. A space between smartphones, VR, and neural operating systems that just doesn’t have a place in our world?

Now excuse me, I need to go drop $700 on a somewhat tasteless square watch.

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