Take Yourself Out of the Box

Are you a morning person or an evening person? A messy or tidy person? Loud or quiet? Do you prefer the outdoors or the indoors? Chocolate or crisps? Cats or dogs? Starter or dessert?

Something I rarely see discussed on the internet or spoken about in person is the concept of a person being able to be more than one thing. We are either introverted or extroverted, we wear our hearts on our sleeve or we are guarded. It’s no wonder nobody really knows how they feel most of the time, when we are taught that an introvert cannot be social and an extrovert cannot want to be alone, just like an open person cannot be stand-offish, or a morning person cannot come alive at night.

There is something comforting about being able to fit into a category though, as it gives a chance for small talk or a conversation starter when there is nothing else to say, either with a person we don’t know well or a person we are trying to rebuild a relationship with. These categories give us common ground and can be turned into complex, much deeper than the surface conversations, as innocent and irrelevant as they initially seem. Comfort is all well and good and can make us feel very content, but I’m not sure we were supposed to stay so attached to these categories we related to way back when. I think we are supposed to change; it prevents our lives and minds from becoming stagnant.

This thought came to me last night when I chose to sit inside for a comforting evening in my lounge, snuggled up on the sofa, as opposed to outside in my garden, which is common for me on mild evenings. Instantly my housemate assumed that something was wrong, one, because I wasn’t being my most social self and two, because I was sat in a dark room as opposed to watching the sun set outside. Originally, I doubted myself too. Was there something wrong? Why am I inside? I thought for a while about it, wondering if there was a subconscious problem that I hadn’t even realised was there. I woke up in this morning with a fresh perspective. This is it. We are more than things in boxes. This or that. Yes or no. We are humans and we are allowed to change our minds, we are supposed to. Being flexible or spontaneous about what we do and how we feel isn’t a betrayal to who we are.

So the next time somebody judges you for being indecisive or you can’t quite put your finger on what kind of person you are in whatever matter, remember that you don’t have to be able to relate to everything to be worthy.

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