Sharing your religious views and common sense

Failed conversations and what I have learned…

My friend Joan (let’s call her) almost lost her job for her passion for ‘spreading the gospel’ on Facebook. She has a fierce way of going about covering and challenging everything from homosexuality, evolution, other religions and abortion. Although I admire her bringing up hard topics that other’s may stray from, I have noticed her target audience’s response has been anything but positive. They were offended, angry, and use phrases like this is why I “hate Christians.”

Over the years I have drastically changed how I communicate the views I am passionate about, especially religion. I have learned that being an effective communicator is more than just passionately soapboxing your ideals.

Many churches focus greatly on teaching how to be an effective communication in your marriage through classes, bible studies, seminars and counselling. I strongly believe, we also need to be instructed and taught how to also express faith and our ideals in an effective and respectful way.

5 tactics to be aware of when sharing your faith/beliefs:

1. Being open minded: We all have been there where we are trying to have a conversation with someone who is completely closed minded to what you have to say. Let’s be honest, it feels sorta pointless and a bit disrespectful. Are you more interested in getting your point of view across or learning from the other person. If you want the other person to be open minded, than be as open minded as you want them to be.
2. Reasoning: If your reasoning is ‘because it says so in the Bible’ and someone doesn’t believe in the Bible, how utterly confusing. Does your choices transcend practical reasoning? I hope not. Let’s do our research and figure out what shapes our truths.
3. Truth, tact and timing: These 3 T’s are taught in classes for effective communication. Is it truthful, am I sharing in a tactful manner, and is this a good time? If one of the ‘T’s are out of sync, you are lining up for a possible failed conversation.
4. Body language: Being aware how your body responds when you are having challenging conversations will also play a role in effective communication. Is your voice elevated, shaky? Is your body language aggressive, uncomfortable, standoffish?
5. Feelings: Powerful saying, “a person may forget what you said, but will never forget how you made them feel.” You may be arguing all the right points, using the correct references, but are your emotions are angry and frustrated? Are you being demeaning or disrespectful in your delivery? How you made someone feel will have a lasting impact, most likely more than what you said.

We may throw out tactics of effective communication when sharing core beliefs; but how much MORE important is it to develop skills of effective communication and good listening when sharing principles we believe are of God?