5 Ways Having Friends Who Share Similar Experiences Can Boost Your Validation

Daniel and Garet Camilleri
Modern Gays
Published in
9 min readJul 10, 2023

In the vast tapestry of life, having friends who reflect your experiences can be both a haven of understanding and a catalyst for growth. The validation and familiarity they offer can be instrumental in navigating the sometimes complex terrain of our personal lives. Moreover, this support can be a tide-turner in professional environments, where empathy and shared experiences often foster a more inclusive and understanding atmosphere. Also, embracing friendships with diverse backgrounds can provide a broader perspective, enhancing our understanding and empathy towards different life experiences.

Here are the key steps:

  • Embracing Diversity: Broadening Worldview through Varied Friendships
  • Familiarity and Validation: Navigating Shared Experiences
  • Storytelling and Empathy: Leveraging Friends’ Life Lessons
  • Fostering Connections: LGBTQ+ Community and Shared Experiences
  • Outreach and Engagement: Building Relationships with Audience Engagement

1. Embracing Diversity: Broadening Worldview through Varied Friendships

Broadening one’s perspective through diverse friendships is a powerful tool for personal development and growth. It gives you the opportunity to explore different viewpoints, learn from others’ experiences, and gain a comprehensive understanding of different lifestyles. This kind of diversity in your relationships can open your eyes to ways of life you may never have considered before and helps you to develop empathy, compassion, and respect for others’ individual journeys. Embracing friends from varied backgrounds can expand your worldview, open your mind to new ideas, and enrich your life in countless ways. Relationships aren’t just about shared experiences, but also about learning, growing, and evolving together. Thus, the connection you establish with individuals from different eras and backgrounds can provide not only validation and familiarity but also a profound source of learning and growth.

Zooming in on personal experience, opening my friend circle to include individuals with different backgrounds and experiences has been a transformative journey. Each friend has brought something unique to the table. From conversations about societal norms to personal hobbies, every interaction has been a learning moment, a chance to grow and perceive things from another’s perspective. For example, a friend born and raised in a different part of the world has introduced new cultural insights and traditions that I wasn’t aware of, expanding my worldview and making me appreciate the wealth of diversity around me. This broadened outlook has not just been confined to the realms of friendship, but has permeated into my outlook towards life, human interactions, and the understanding of various societal issues.

Diversity in friendships is vital because it provides you with the ability to learn from multiple perspectives. This range of viewpoints can deepen your understanding of the world and lead to a more inclusive point of view. It lets you break free from your comfort zone, challenge your beliefs, and invites you to consider viewpoints that you may not have thought about otherwise. Furthermore, having friends from diverse backgrounds also promotes mutual respect, understanding, and harmony, which are vital for societal growth and peaceful coexistence. By understanding and appreciating our differences, you also learn to respect others’ unique qualities and individualities. Ultimately, the impact of diverse friendships extends far beyond your immediate social circle, paving the way for a more compassionate, tolerant, and inclusive society.

Photo by Josè Maria Sava on Unsplash

2. Familiarity and Validation: Navigating Shared Experiences

It’s amazing how profound a connection can become when it’s rooted in shared experiences. Having friends who understand your journey, who can relate to your struggles, victories, and quirks can be incredibly validating. It’s not just about camaraderie; it’s also about forging a unique bond that helps you grow, learn, and navigate the world with a stronger sense of self. When you have friends who mirror you in some aspects — who’ve traveled similar paths or battled similar demons, you become part of a collective strength that can help buffer against life’s trials. You feel seen, heard, and validated, and that, in itself, can be incredibly empowering.

Taking a look back at some of my own experiences, I’ve noticed these shared experiences creating a kind of magic in my friendships. I remember struggling with something personal, something I felt no one would understand. Then, during a casual conversation with a friend, the topic came up. To my surprise, they’d been through something strikingly similar. Suddenly, I wasn’t alone in my struggle anymore; there was someone else who got it. And just like that, our connection deepened. We began tackling our shared issue together, sharing insights, learning from each other, and gradually, we could both feel our burdens lighten.

Understanding and sharing in someone else’s experiences broadens your perspective. It fosters empathy, enriches your personal growth, and deepens your connections. It’s not simply about having someone who nods at your stories, it’s about having someone who feels them — who understands the highs, the lows, the in-betweens because they’ve been there too. This kind of connection cuts through the superficial and plunges right into the core. It contributes to creating communities that are strong, supportive, and inclusive. Most importantly, these shared experiences build bridges, reminding us that no matter how unique our journey may seem, we’re never really trekking alone; there’s always someone who’s walked a similar path. And when we open ourselves to them, we contribute in our unique way to making the world a bit better, a bit more understanding, and a lot more connected.

3. Storytelling and Empathy: Leveraging Friends’ Life Lessons

The power of storytelling and the empathy it invokes can be a great tool for personal growth and understanding. We often turn to friends and loved ones to share experiences, good or bad, as it allows us to navigate through life’s challenges. What makes these exchanges truly enriching is the diversity of perspectives that every friend brings to the table, being a product of their unique life lessons. Not only do these shared experiences invoke empathy, but they also grant us fresh insights into various facets of life that we may not have previously considered. It’s this mixing of experiences, this coalescing of multiple life perspectives that enriches us, broadens our thinking range, and, ultimately, catalyzes our personal growth.

As an active participant in many such exchanges, I can vouch for their transformative influence. Once, during a conversation with a friend, he shared his struggles of coming out to his family. As a guy grappling with his own identity, his story gave me a new perspective on the concept of courage and the strength it takes to voice your truth, even if it’s not promptly accepted. This single exchange drastically altered my personal narrative, making me more comfortable with my identity and teaching me the importance of authenticity. His candid sharing of experiences presented a guiding beacon of understanding and support for me, something that I might have missed out on had we not shared such a deep and empathetic conversation.

The importance of this key takeaway cannot be overstated. Learning from each other’s experiences is a profound way of evolving personally and expanding our perceptual horizons. It allows us to understand life from various angles, making us more empathetic and mindful of the struggles of others, encouraging us to act with kindness and compassion. Moreover, it promotes acceptance and understanding amongst us, helping break down any barriers of prejudice or misunderstanding. As we take inspiration from our friends’ life stories, we learn to become our better selves and foster an environment of support and mutual growth. Thus, shared experiences, storytelling, and empathy, all form an integral part of the bedrock of rich, satisfying personal relationships, driving personal growth and promoting a sense of community.

4. Fostering Connections: LGBTQ+ Community and Shared Experiences

When we talk about friendships, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community, an incredible value is found in those relationships where shared experiences and common ground create a base of understanding and solidarity. These friendships, bound by shared life experiences, provide a level of comfort, validation, and familiarity. You know you’re not alone in your struggles or joys, and there’s a deep sense of belonging. It’s this exact sense of belonging coupled with understanding and shared identities that allows for a unique bond, fostering a tight-knit community brimming with mutual support and respect.

In my personal journey, I have been astonished at the true power of shared experiences. The act of coming together as part of the LGBTQ+ community also serves as an affirmation of our identities and builds our resilience in face of adversity. For instance, I remember being at an event with a diverse group of friends where we ended up talking about our coming out experiences. The conversation was emotionally profound and uniquely heartening. Hearing about their experiences, and being able to share mine in a safe and accepting space, was incredibly validating. These are the moments that tie us together, that make us more than friends — they make us a community.

Understanding and nurturing the importance of shared experiences within friendships is crucial. These experiences foster empathy, validation, and a unique bond that can be incredibly empowering. When we draw strength from our shared experiences, we are able to navigate through life’s ups and downs with resilience and tenacity. We form a network of support that feeds our courage and strength, illuminating our journey ahead. It’s not just about the value these friendships add to our lives, but also the collective strength they provide, helping us grow constructively. We celebrate our shared experiences, cherishing the unique fabric of our friendship that is weaved with threads of familiarity, validation, and diversity — a tapestry as vibrant and diverse as our community.

5. Outreach and Engagement: Building Relationships with Audience Engagement

Living in a world where identities are slowly becoming more fluid and acceptance is widening its sphere, it’s paramount to surround ourselves with people who reflect different segments of the world, acting as mirrors for diverse stories and thought processes. This key takeaway revolves around the importance of outreach and audience engagement in building relationships. This may seem fundamental, but it’s an often-overlooked aspect of forging meaningful connections. We often make the mistake of gravitating towards those within our comfort zones, instead of reaching out to diverse demographics to gain a broader perspective. Thus, it was refreshing to see hosts Daniel and Garet highlighting these points and the significance of having friends who share common experiences, yet offering different outlooks.

On a personal note, that part of the conversation strongly resonated with me. Being involved in a diverse group has always provided me with valuable lessons in empathy and understanding. The beauty of having friends who share similar experiences but have treaded different pathways is that they provide a sense of familiarity and validation, while also broadening one’s perspective. There is comfort in sameness, but diversity brings the opportunity for growth and evolution. Take, for example, my friends from various cultural backgrounds. Despite sharing common grounds, the cultural nuances they bring to the table add depth and richness to our conversations, leading to a deeper understanding and appreciation of the world around us.

Understanding why diverse friendships are pivotal to personal growth requires us to delve into the concept of shared experiences. They create a familiar emotional landscape, offering comfort and validation. However, uniformity can limit growth. It’s like reading the same page of a book over and over. However, when you venture into friendships with diverse backgrounds, it’s like turning the page and discovering new insights, perspectives, and learning opportunities. This principle is not restricted to personal friendships alone. It extends to professional and virtual relationships formed through social media platforms, podcasts, and other content sharing outlets. The bottom line is, openness to cultivating diverse relationships can enrich one’s consciousness and facilitate both personal and communal growth.

For the LGBTQ+ community, having friends who share similar experiences isn’t just about companionship. It’s about understanding and validation. It’s about seeing your struggles mirrored in someone else and knowing that you are not alone. It’s about embracing diversity and learning from the varied friendships we make along the way. These connections not only broaden our worldview but also provide a platform for empathy and storytelling. The shared life lessons and experiences we gain from these relationships can be transformative. Moreover, fostering connections within the LGBTQ+ community offers a unique sense of belonging. So remember, every outreach and engagement is an opportunity to build meaningful relationships. Embrace it, and let your personal growth and understanding flourish.

Visit https://www.moderngays.co for more episodes and stories on the LGBTQIA+ community.

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Daniel and Garet Camilleri
Modern Gays

Co-hosts of Modern Gays, a podcast celebrating authenticity.