When you aren’t safe in god’s homes.


CW- Gun violence, mass shootings.

On my twitter moments news of five deaths in two different parishes have lead to a manhunt is Luisiana along with a mug shot of a young white dude, the dead stare of another white terrorist n the news.

Better go back to sleep, after all I am still healing from well, life. After waking up I realized that this incident was not in a parish- parish. I thanked God. I hold my breath every time I see death on the news, it can become triggering for me. My family knows what it is like to be found on the side of the story no one wants to be in, dealing with loosing a loved one and within that loss and grief you also find yourself amidst unwanted attention from family, friends and strangers, it becomes overwhelming. Being that my family’s loss involved the accidental death of a child, some of the comments sections of articles written about my nephew and sister became too much to even read, much less engage with. Trash fires of could’ve, should’ve and would’ve’s and my desire to burn them along with the commenters to the ground.

I cannot begin to comprehend the level of pain that people that loose loved one to gun violence and school shootings (acts of white terrorism) experience. When sending my youngest to school daily, my heart stops and I am filled with anxiety until his bus drops him off in the afternoon.

At this point in American history, shopping and having fun is not safe and I know that, You know that. School, hospital and church shootings really shake me to the core though. These places… these buildings were created to fight oppression find hope and help change lives.

Each institution (schools, buildings of worship and hospitals) are at best to be a sanctuary for people, a place of respite and comfort for the world and war worn people. Sanctuary ought to represent a place to rest, heal, find knowledge and become self aware because through these means you find God and it should not end with buildings, cities, states, they are really the Sanctuary I am interested in. The world should be our sanctuary.

Within ourselves we build sanctuary for our soul and for the Spirit of the people Your spirit holds dear. Somewhere between your fleshy heart and the outside world, your heart lives, and calls unto deeper understanding, deeper love, more community action and care.

My heart and the sanctuary within it desires critical support for the person seeking Sanctuary out there in the world. Sanctuary for all should mean that.

Avoiding romanticism, we know that historically speaking, these institution have been also used to condemn, persecute, terrorize and exploit the most vulnerable people in society. Hospitals and healthcare has been used as a pretext to experiment on people of color, especially femmes of color. We know that boarding schools and churches have been used to assimilate our People, to “Kill the Indian and save the Man” and to brainwash slaves into subservience.

Socially speaking, you would not think that a place like the US South, so married to the idea of Christian values and principles and hospitality could have such a hard time understanding Sanctuary (bless their hearts!) who seeks it and why and giving Sanctuary to all peoples is what Jesus would do.

But during my short time at the Virginia general assembly I have seen none of the decorum and tact that these old white men claim to adhere to and love so much. What I have witness is shit slinging and abuse to femmes on both sides of the isles and pure hatred toward anyone that isn’t white, male, straight, moneyed and ‘respectable’ — although I find it much more disrespectful that the people that claim to represent us don’t know how to relate to us, speak to us and much less listen. Senator Dick Black for example, not only introduced his “anti sanctuary city” bill and once again was shown to be every bit the racist he says he is (look at his twitter for a true y i k e s fest) two weeks ago. Last week, the upstanding christian man introduced a bill that would allow people to carry weapon in churches.

I know I said I’d love and pray Dick through his utter ignorance and disgraceful life on my last post but My GOD Dick, are you making it hard. LOL

If you like what you have read, consider helping me keep creating free content for all by donating $1 monthly to my Patreon. Gracias!

Modern Memento Mori

Modern Memento Mori is a safe space: A publication for writers and non-writers to share written content about personal grief, loss or bereavement.

Dr. Leonina Arismendi žarković

Written by

DDiv. Polished Social Justice rants, personal essays and recipes for the revolution! https://www.patreon.com/RevolutionaryGirlYanina @SJ_Senshi

Modern Memento Mori

Modern Memento Mori is a safe space: A publication for writers and non-writers to share written content about personal grief, loss or bereavement.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade