Izzy Heltai — 5 Songs Written 4 the End of the World) EP | Review
I have been thoroughly enjoying the Americana and Alternative Folk genres lately. My research on the genre got me turned onto Country Queer’s Twitter and Patreon (something I plan to link in this blog). They have been a fantastic resource to find new and interesting artists in Country, Americana, and Folk music. Earlier this month I caught a glimpse of their interview with Izzy Heltai and decided to give his first album Father a listen. I loved the way that it sounded. Several of the songs stood out to me, especially “Songbird”. I happened to stumble upon his work right at the time that he was releasing his newest EP 5 Songs Written 4 the End of the World. I added it to my Spotify playlist and gave it a listen. Izzy states on his Bandcamp page that the album came out of an extremely taxing year of touring non-stop touring to a full mental breakdown. He took these tribulations and turned them into the 5 track EP we have today.
“My Old Friends” is the opening track on the EP. The song has a driving beat which is furthered by Heltai’s acoustic guitar. I love the dancing solos of Micah Katz-Zeiger’s electric guitar. There is an underlying theme of severe anxiety that has been haunting Heltai throughout the song. Heltai provides more insight on the track on his Bandcamp page:
“I wrote ‘My Old Friends’ at the beginning of July. My lease had just run out and, not knowing what to do next, I moved back in with my Mom. I didn’t know where I wanted to be and I was struggling, needing a sense of home and not knowing where to get it. I grew up in Boston but have lived in Western Massachusetts since I was eighteen. I’ve fallen in love with the physical, as well as mental, space and presence I’ve found living in small town Massachusetts. ‘My Old Friends’ is about figuring out what home is. It’s about realizing that the place I’d just left, the place I thought I was done with, was still where I wanted to be.”
This feeling of unease on where home is to him permeates throughout the song. The state of his mind in reflected in his form of dress and the continual questions that proliferate in his mind. The sense of ease comes along with returning to his roots, “Take me out to see the country/ My old friends in Western Massachusetts thrive/ I want to live a simpler life”. The final lines of the song, “I’m just trying not to lose myself most days/ I’m delusional if I think there’s an answer/ ‘Round the corner, if it’s there it’s miles away”, which for Izzy comes in the form of his childhood town.
“Day Plan” is the first single off of the EP. Here, we dive into Izzy’s some of the constant anxieties that have been plaguing him. The song has this beautiful shimmering sound from the upright piano and humming electric guitar. The central theme of overthinking all the your plans really speaks to me as someone who does this regularly. Izzy’s Bandcamp post discusses more on the song:
“Day Plan is about moving into a one-bedroom apartment during a global pandemic. It’s about the isolation posed by a looming New England winter living alone, without the ability to see most of my friends due to this virus. I hoped that the time and space might be good for my songwriting, but I had no idea what it would feel like to be alone for so long. I’m not used to monotony, to daily routines. I was mostly on the road before all of this and I love change. This song is part of coming to terms with what it means to be in one place for so long.”
You can get a feel for the depressive state that he’s going through in the song’s second verse, “Pete, it’s been half-hearted that I’ve tried to set up my furniture/ To seem like a grown-ass man lives herе/ I’m pretending to try, but I don’t really carе”. Like many of us social distancing for over a year, the day to day became extremely lonesome and bleak. The chorus, “And if you ask me to tell you why I/ Don’t believe in goddamn religion/ All that might mean, well, I’m learning/ That deep down, I don’t trust myself/ So what good would a God do now?”, furthers us down the spiral of despondency. With little trust in himself, what good can a God do for him now?
“Beauty Queen” puts us in the middle of what appears to be a very unhealthy relationship for Izzy. The song has a bit more of an indie rock tone with its jaunty electric guitar against Heltai’s piano playing. He compares this wildfire of a relationship to that of a highly addictive drug on the song’s opening verse. He goes more in-depth on his Bandcamp page on how this relationship during the pandemic really allowed him to obsess more than he normally would:
“Pandemic romance is nuts, or at least the way I experienced one was. Intense, dramatic, and unsustainable. All exacerbated by the fact that I was scared I would never meet anyone again due to how hard it is to date or literally just make a new friend right now. Without the distractions of pre-pandemic life, it was pretty easy for me to spiral into obsession, and I probably put up with a lot more shit than I would have normally. But hey, at least I got this song out of it.”
Heltai references that he knows this woman isn’t right for him, but keeps pushing forward beyond his better judgement. By the 3rd verse Izzy has gotten his senses back and ready to leave this toxic relationship, “You’ve got a long way to go until you figure this out/ I’m really trying not to lose myself/ You’re all the wrong kind of trouble/ Got me so full of doubts… And you’re a whole lot of messy/ So I’m just bowing out/ I’m really trying not to lose it”. All in all, this “Beauty Queen” he’s fallen for has him in a choke hold that I think even she’s unaware of. It’s a lovely song, but not my favorite off the EP.
“Give It a Try” is another song about a woman whose caught Izzy’s eye. Here, a more alt-country sound is brought into the track. I love the added trumpet on the song. The difference here is that she’s hot and cold about her signals towards him. He sees her as this work of art that he’d love to form a relationship with, but she’s so indecisive that it’s driving him crazy. Heltai is pushing himself to go and talk to her or just look her in the eyes from across the room. His frustrations about her build as the song continues, “Pretty clear that she’s a mess/ That back and forth the push and pull/ It drives me up the wall but still/ She makes me crazy”. He takes a healthy route out by the end of the song. Izzy knows that she doesn’t have the same feeling towards him and instead of continuing with this venture, he decides to bow out. He does a wonderful job spinning the chorus of “give it a try” a different meaning with each verse. Heltai goes one step further to state the show the song celebrate those who help him out of bad situations.Izzy states in his Bandcamp post about the song that:
“This song is for the people in my life who gave me the strength and perspective to walk away. The people who have shown me, time and time again, I will never actually be alone because I am surrounded by their love and kindness every day.”
“Met on the Internet” is the final song on the EP. The Wurlitzer is much more prominent on this track. It’s sound against the electric guitar is quite enjoyable. This is more of a coming of age song. We begin by him looking back at his past behavior and seeing the toxicity in it, “You fancy yourself/ A man of certain values but/ You just act selfish/ On the surface/ Call it honest/ But it’s toxic”. The song’s chorus takes us back to a relationship that he thought was something that it wasn’t. He goes into how she has a boyfriend in another state that she met online and how he mentally thought she owed him more than she was giving. We also get a look into his coming of age as transgender man, “No failure/ Of your own your just a child/ Transgender/ You take what you can get/ When you/ Seek validation in the media/ That you consume/ It’s hard to find a mentor”. He continues this theme into the 3rd verse, where he wants to be the kind of man he can be proud of. I love the earnest candor that he shows through the ideal man he wants to be and portray in the world. It’s rare we see someone take a very pointed view of their past actions and call them out for what they were. I love the silly nature of the video with its various gifs that come in and out throughout the video. In his interview with Under the Radar, Izzy dives deeper into the meaning of the song:
“Being a trans-masc person, it’s easy to submit to the pressures of toxic masculinity, because society is telling us we will never be ‘man enough.’ As a trans teenage boy, I internalized a lot of unfortunate qualities considered masculine — emotional aloofness, entitlement, a general lack of communication skills — overcompensating for my lack of inherent ‘man-ness’ — being born a girl and all. But it’s important for me to acknowledge my privilege within my marginalization. Even though I am part of an oppressed population, I still have the capacity to behave in problematic ways. So, to put it in fewer words: this song is my apology to anyone I tried to date in High School.”
I really enjoyed this EP from start to finish. He has done a great job in of giving us a window into his world over the past year. This EP takes on a more upbeat sound compared to his more first album. The “end of the world” refers to the looming pandemic that has affected all of us in different ways. For Izzy, the isolation has exasperated his anxieties and pushed him into depression. Like many of us, the inability to see others has been a taxing and often disheartening. Heltai took these negative emotions and pushed them into something positive. His introspective look is done in a very thought provoking and positive manner. I am interested to see where Izzy goes next after this EP. My favorites:
- “Day Plan”
- “My Old Friends”
- “Met on the Internet”
My overall rating: 6.5 out of 10 songs for the end of the world…
Izzy Heltai’s Bandcamp: https://izzyheltai.bandcamp.com
Country Queer’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CountryQueer1
Country Queer’s Pateron: https://www.patreon.com/countryqueer/posts
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