Ready the Astronaut by William Fitzsimmons | Album Review
Fitzsimmons brings a softness to the pain of divorce in his 2021 release.
With change can come growth, something that singer/songwriter William Fitzsimmons used to his advantage after the end of his marriage. Finding himself at one of his lowest points (near the brink of suicide), William took to his guitar to begin the process of healing. He told American Songwriter that he found catharsis in songwriting:
“It’s no different than when I journal… I was sitting on the porch last night journaling. I was in a bad place — there’s all this craziness going on [with the pandemic]. Songwriting is just journaling with an instrument.”
Fitzsimmons background in counseling allows him the ease to release his inner struggles on this forthcoming release. He does a fantastic job processing all his emotions around divorce while keeping a sense of love and understanding sown throughout this album.
The album opens with the dull ache of loss on “Dancing on the Sun”. Fitzsimmons shapes this floating landscape through the use of synth bass and soft guitars. I really like the start and stop motion that the melody takes after each line. His gentle voice provides a sense of comfort as we act as a satellite over the end of a relationship. This is our first look at the end of his marriage. William still has hope that he can sow back together to fraying threads of their love as he processes this sudden change, “Can you please just come around?/ Is your heart still open?/ I don’t know where I went wrong/ There were words unspoken.”
We continue this feeling of soaring on “No Promises”. The rising hum of synths feels like we are leaving the atmosphere of our once-home planet. There is a bizarre calm that feels like you’re stuck between planes of existence. This really accentuates the pain that William has around the dissolution of his marriage. Fitzsimmons displays the beauty and pain of love throughout this track. Love isn’t promised, something that he grapples with for all to see, “Hope the roof holds/ When the house begins to shake/ Hope there’s always arms to catch you when/ The branches break/ God I would love for this all to work out/ But hey no promises.” It’s a very well written and gut-wrenching take on the end of a marriage.
“Down with Another One” has a bit of a disjointed feeling due to its more aggressive beat and fuzzy guitar. While I enjoy the textural experience of the song, I feel it's a little at odds with the theme. William's lyrics highlight his sorrow for their lost love, “So I will let you go/ But I have love here still/ Though you have had your fill/ I don’t know where to go/ You were my only one/ I thought we’d see the sun,” are just so disjointed against the playful backing of the song. I honestly would skip this track as I feel that there are other songs that execute this sentiment much better.
Our first acoustic song comes in with “Daedalus, My Father”. Compared to some of the brighter sounds that the prior songs displayed, I really appreciate the mournful tone that the meandering guitar melody and slide guitar cries give. The title calls to the mythos of Icarus and his father Daedalus. Much like the myth, Fitzsimmons feels hopeless in the failure of his set this love to flight again, “Could I fix these wings?/ All the wax and the plume have nearly fallen out/ And my father’s nowhere to help me figure out/ If a word I could say would ever change your mind.” I appreciate this song for its more organic instrumentation, something that doesn’t come back after this song.
The claps added to “As Long as I Can Breathe” take me out of the song a bit. Without it, I think the gentle wash of synths and percussion would be the perfect backdrop to the bittersweet feelings Fitzsimmons sings on. As it stands, the claps cheapen the song. His sentiments around his shortcomings, “I should have been the loving arms that kept you steady/ I’ll love you for as long as I can breathe I pray that you will find the one that makеs you happy/ You lay beside a man that sets you free/ I wish I could’ve been the one you loved forever/ I’ll love you for as long as I can breathe,” shine his undying love towards his ex’s future. I just wish the song had a bit of a different treatment from the one on the album.
William brings back the spatial sounds in “Ready the Astronaut”. I think this choice of thick, electric textures brings out the feeling of watching your world shrink away as you move on to your next chapter. You get a palpable sense of pain around the death of his prior life, “Looking back on the earth/ Everything that he’s made/ Gravity left behind/ Still he’s afraid to fall/ Ready the astronaut/ He’s never coming home.” This is one of the most effective songs on the album and really sells the emotions that he is trying to convey.
“You Let Me Down” has a very homemade quality to it. While the sounds keep the song interesting, I just think the soft qualities of William’s voice don’t give off enough energy to match the vibe. Fitzsimmons’ anguished tone around his partner’s choice in dismantling their life, “Playing some extra in your show/ Maybe you’ll figure out/ After the darkness has been lifted/ You let your foolish doubt/ Keep you from finally finding home,” just doesn’t match the overall vibe that the instrumentation is giving off.
“Maybe She Will Change Her Mind” has a stilted feeling from the reverberating percussion underlying the track. The amorphous structure of the song places us firmly in limbo around the hopeless optimism that this outcome will change. My heart breaks around his earnest longing that things will go back to the way they were, “Did you really want to marry me?/ Did I hear you right, were you drunk that night?/ Now you turn around and walk away/ Said it came too fast, wasn’t meant to last, but/ Maybe you will change your mind (change your mind).” The sentiment behind this song really hit me emotionally.
“If I Fell Back to Earth (I Will Never Find Me)” is one of the more momentous songs that I think works with the subject matter that Fitzsimmons is singing on. The thick synth, colorful samples, and bright guitar bring a light on the horizon for William. He allows the sorrow to wash over him in order to come out anew able to love again, “Do you know how much it hurt/ When I stepped around the corner?/ Saw you standing with him/ The water filled my lungs… And when it takes my body/ Then I’ll be finally free.” I appreciate his willingness to take on his feelings in order to move on, past his ex-wife, and onto someone new.
“Icarus” fully brings me back to the 80s-inspired pastels of 2010s indie-rock. I’m always a sucker for the cool hum of a synth pad which this song is drenched in. Some of the creamier tones sound like they come from the same flute sample as the Mellotron, a personal favorite tone of mine. Objectively, I do think this dreamy quality works well against William’s lyrics. He looks back, not in anger, but with love at what they used to have, “If I never find you, I want you to know it was love/ If anything happens, I want you to know it was love/ Maybe it’s over, I hope you remember this love/ Should anything happen, I want you to know it was love.” It’s a very touching moment.
The album ends with the beautifully bittersweet sounds of “To Love Forever”. Fitzsimmons keeps the synth strings lower in the background keeping his voice as the focal point. Williams takes accountability for his part in the destruction of their relationship in the song’s second verse, “I was wrong to control you/ Try to make you be somebody else/ Not to let you be just who you are/ I hope you can forgive me/ I hope you can let all of this go/ You will find what you need in forgiveness.” The main theme, to find love, takes a new meaning as they both heal from this rough close to a chapter in their lives. I think this is a very poignant way to close out this project.
It has been some time since I had listened to any of Fitzsimmons's work. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the soft, breathy vocal style that he uses in his music. This beautifully displays his undying love for his now ex-wife. You get a strong sense of pain and sorrow around how things have turned out. Even in its most bitter moments, he never relents on how much he still cares for her. Sonically, the album feels like being a satellite observing the demise of this relationship. It’s very gentle. I do think some of the more indie-pop moments felt out of place with the overall subject matter on the album. If you are a fan of singer/songwriter music and want a more touching look at divorce, then this album is right up your alley. My overall thoughts on Ready the Astronaut:
Loved it: “Dancing on the Sun”, “No Promises”, “Daedalus, My Father”, “Ready the Astronaut”, “Icarus” & “To Love Forever”
Liked it: “Down with Another One”, “Maybe She Will Change Her Mind” & “If I Fell Back to Earth (I Will Never Find Me)”
Disliked it: “As Long as I Can Breathe” & “You Let Me Down”
My overall rating: 6.5 out of 10.
