My child (born F, 13) has been very withdrawn from myself and their older brother. They don’t hang out with their friends anymore. I may have jumped the gun in my assumptions, but please bear with me…
My kid has been buying boy’s clothing and is in absolute denial that it's theirs! New articles show up in the laundry, and they aren’t her older brother’s size. To be sure I even asked him if they were a friend’s, and he says no. I end up just leaving it in the laundry room, and someone is claiming them, so I can only assume it's theirs. they refuse to have me shop with them anymore and only go out with my niece. My niece is 17 and the only thing she tells me is that my kid is going through some things right now and to give her space.
Now, here’s where I may be in the wrong. I am a single mother, I have no one to bounce my thoughts off of or get input on, which is why I’m here. I think my daughter is questioning their gender. The clothes, staying in their room all of the time, refusing to change for gym — I’m in over my head. I wanted her to know that I support her no matter what's going on, whether she truly is questioning her gender or if they just like guy’s clothing and they aren't in the right headspace right now.
So I took up a suggestion to buy them some cool boy’s clothing that I think they'll like. I just bought a couple of shirts and some jeans. Today when they came home and I presented them, I was honestly expecting her to be touched, or something, I don't know. But it completely blew up! They got very mad and asked me why I was giving these clothes to them, said a whole slew of things about how they're “not gay” and the likes. She told me I need to mind my business.
I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to support my daughter right now. She’s obviously going through something, but she hasn’t been open with me since their dad left years ago. I’m going to give her space from now on, but I truly feel like I’m not doing my best at this whole parenting thing! I shouldn’t have assumed anything about their gender, but I know the clothes are theirs and they are obviously being worn if they're in the laundry? So I don't understand why it was such a big deal that I bought them clothes. I just want to know what's on their mind, what happened to my little girl... I haven’t seen her smile in such a long time.