Taking My Mental Health Seriously Has Made me a Better Parent and Husband
I have struggled with ADHD, and to a lesser degree, anxiety for a long time. I was diagnosed with Adult ADHD in my early 20’s as a college student, but it was too little too late as I could not figure out what I wanted to do with my life, dropping out periodically to work and figure things out. With that, I decided to stop taking my medication.
For the next 17 years of my life, I continued my life, leaving my mental health untreated. During that span, I worked, got married, had three kids, got a Bachelor’s degree, and got a Master’s degree, and it has been difficult. I read and reread information, trying to comprehend my textbooks fully. It took me hours to write a paper while combating distractions. I drove my wife crazy with, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I sometimes forgot things she asked me to do within seconds of her asking. My anxiety, combined with my ADHD, caused me to have trouble starting and finishing projects. My mental health was becoming a huge burden, and things were going in a direction where I would need to take care of it and myself.
As my wife’s career continued to flourish and my three sons, including my youngest autistic son, began to homeschool, it was absolutely necessary for me to step away from my career and become a stay at home dad. While that may be “the dream” for many parents, I quickly realized that it might be a nightmare for me. My ADHD was not great for helping my kids learn, thanks to being unorganized and scatterbrained. It was time to take care of myself.
The first thing I did was schedule an appointment through an online physician site due to the pandemic. I found a great doctor who listened to me. I was able to talk to him about my struggles, my concerns, and my behaviors. In return, he gave me excellent feedback discussing how my brain works. I was given a prescription for ADHD medication and medication that controls my blood pressure, which the doctor explained helped me better control my stress levels in my body and brain. I was also recommended natural supplements, including magnesium, turmeric powder, and ashwagandha powder, which served to help boost my mood and control headaches, which my doctor said is related to my ADHD.
Since having my anxiety and ADHD addressed, I have noticed several changes in my behavior. First, I have been a more effective teacher. I attribute this to two things: being more patient and being more organized. I have been able to structure my day better to give each of my kids what they need educationally. I have also found ways to be more effective when my kids have trouble with a topic by thinking through and finding new ways to explain things to them.
I have also noticed that I have become a more productive individual. I can accomplish more during the day. Focusing on my mental health has also allowed me to renew my focus on my passions like writing. My communication skills, particularly listening, have improved as well.
As a parent and a husband, my biggest priorities are taking care of my family, but I realized that I could not do that if I don’t take care of myself. This process has also taught me that there is no shame in seeking help. While I still have a lot of room to grow, it’s exciting to think about where I could be by the end of this year!
