Wishing for a Cat
My daughter and I wanted a pet, preferably a dog or a cat. Living in the city, my wife is against the critters for practical reasons, not to mention that she just plain dislikes them. So how do you introduce a cat into the house? Are all means acceptable?
Megan wanted to get a pet. Dogs are nice because you can go running with them, they can play fetch, and they are also very loyal. Cats are cool too, they have enviable self-mastery, a lithe way of moving, and a soothing purring sound when caressed. Convincing dad about getting a pet was easy because he used to have cats and dogs as a kid. However, mom was a different story. Susan detested cats and dogs. They shed hair, require care, and in her opinion, were really just badly behaved children. She already had two of those; what would she do with another one?
“Honey, you hate pigeons, right?” Ron said.
“I can’t stand them ever since they got pigeon lice into our clothes. What a terrible nightmare that was, I didn’t stop itching for two weeks,” Susan said and scratched her back subconsciously.
“I was thinking, if we get a cat, it would chase the pigeons away. It might even catch and eat some of them, thereby feeding itself. A complete solution in one neat package.”
“Oh no! you are not getting a cat into this house. Are you going to feed it, take it to the doctor? What will we do when we go on vacation? Who will take care of it?” Susan replied.
Sweet-talking is not going to work here, Ron thought. Then he remembered something a coworker joked about, the audacious concept of letting loose a mouse in the house. At some point, Susan would spot it poking its head from the pantry, freak out, and agree to get a furry mammal with a tail. What could go wrong?
…
“Did you see that mouse? It was just creeping around on the living room carpet. Scared the life out of me,” Susan said.
“No, let me go check.” Ron walked around the living room, looked under the sofas, lifted the ottomans but couldn’t spot it.
“You don’t believe me; you think I imagined it.”
“I am sure you saw a mouse,” Ron said, trying hard to hide his smile. “How about getting a cat? It would also solve the pigeon problem, they strut on our deck as if they own it,” Ron said.
“A cat? I don’t like that idea.” She thought about it some more. “Well, if we do get one, it has to be from an animal shelter, at least we would be doing something good for the planet.” Ron and Megan weren’t thrilled, but any cat is better than none.
…
“Hey kids, look what I brought,” Ron opened a hefty mesh cage and out walked a green-eyed large cat with lustrous fur.
“What kind of cat is this?” Megan asked, kneeling to pet the animal that leaned into the caress.
“It is a Maine Coon cat, the largest domesticated cat breed in the US,” Ron said.
“Aren’t these very expensive? What was it doing in the animal shelter?” Susan asked suspiciously.
“I don’t know; it must be our lucky day, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“Is it a he or a she?” Megan asked.
“It is female,” Ron said.
“Let’s call it Harmony then.”
Meanwhile, Harmony was casing the living room. Looking here and there, and then crawling under the sofas and jumping on the low guest table. She was clearly housebroken because she carefully walked around the fragile vases while Susan was holding her breath.
…
The next day Susan found a long gray tail on the welcome mat outside the front door. “This is disgusting; can’t she just eat the entire mouse? Why leave leftovers for me to find?”
“Looks like our mouse problem is over!” Ron said.
“Well, you assume there was only one,” Susan answered.
“Oh, right you are, honey.”
…
The next day Harmony left two small kidneys on the front doormat.
Ron caught Megan alone in the kitchen for a minute and asked her in a whisper, “I thought you only brought one mouse from school.”
“I rescued as many as I could from the traps at school and brought them home. Here, in the wild, at least they have a chance.”
“Wait, how many did you bring?”
“Rescued, dad, you mean rescued. I am not sure, five, ten, maybe a dozen. Saving one life is like saving the entire world, remember you told me that?” Megan said.
Ron suddenly felt ill. His daughter just brought a plague of mice into their house. “Don’t believe everything I tell you,” he mumbled.
…
Harmony stretched on the top bookshelf then jumped down. Ron patted her beneath the chin, and she purred. Then she jumped on his lap for additional spoiling.
“Shouldn’t she be out chasing the pigeons?” Susan asked.
“Right, I will put her out on the deck, we’ll see what she can do.”
Harmony meowed and reluctantly left her warm perch. The pigeons immediately scattered once she stepped onto the deck. However, there was one animal that couldn’t fly away; the goldfish. It was swimming in an aquarium in the middle of the deck. Harmony eyed it with interest and then curled up into her favorite position and promptly fell asleep.
“Is that the super predator that you brought me? Just give it five seconds, and it falls asleep,” Susan muttered.
…
“I have never seen such a mess,” Susan said. The deck was splattered with pigeon feathers. There was also a fish skeleton. “She ate my fish!”
“I am sure it wasn’t Harmony,” Megan says. The cat was busy licking its paws and discarding small fish bones onto the living room carpet.
Ron came from upstairs. “I found some mouse droppings in the parents’ bedroom, I think they also ate through some of the pipes in the kids’ restroom because the toilet is leaking.”
“This is it. The cat has to go, and we will live in a hotel until an exterminator clears out the mice. Kids, pack up your stuff,” Susan announced.
“But what can we do with Harmony? The shelter won’t take her back.” Ron pleaded.
“You should have thought of it when you took her in. After all, nobody leaves a thousand dollar cat in the shelter; something was wrong with that story, she just has no table manners.”
Megan and Ron shared a sad look, their prized cat was going away.
THE END.
