Sabotage Pattern #6: Impress Everybody by Making Many Statements
Whenever possible, try to make as many statements as possible. Don’t listen to others, don’t try to understand the situation they are in. Just say something of your own that appears to be vaguely related to the situation at hand. This can take many forms:
- lengthy (unrelated) stories of your past experiences and achievements,
- meaningless quotes from random books, preferably written by “thought leaders”,
- analogies that sound wonderful but don’t make much sense (try linking agile to construction, software delivery to train / airplane / public transport operations, people behavior to animals etc.).
Using this technique, it is almost certain that you will make all the meetings much longer than necessary, because people will generally be discussing the statements you make.
Hopefully, people will also start trying to practically implement the ideas in the statements you make; however without understanding the situation at hand or the background, many of these ideas will be theoretical and simply wrong.
Moreover, many people will just be put off by your boasting and they will simply disconnect from whatever is going on. In the eyes of your supervisors though, you will be seen as the one who thinks about problems, who comes up with novel ways of explaining things. And yes, this can get you promoted (so that you can sabotage even more!).
In reality, what this behavior creates is disengagement. It also prohibits any work being done by making all meetings even longer. Even worse, it feeds into the rumor and gossip mills at your company — especially if people who are just bulshitting are promoted.
You all listen to me! I am the expert.
I remember that some time ago, I have been working for a company that went through reorganization. Apart from making things worse (which is the result of almost all reorganizations), this one resulted in hiring some new people. One of them was a former manager from another big company, who was supposed to help the agile adoption. He wasn’t a bad guy and had a quite good understanding of what I call technical agility (not knowing much about the principles, values, beliefs and what is the goal of agile but having a good knowledge about the events that need to take place, artifacts that should be present and roles that need to exist). However, at every occassion he was boasting that he is the agile expert and told the same story how he was the chief agile guy at another company—over and over again. This dramatically increased length of meetings where he was present and at the same time dramatically decreased their value. It also disgusted some people but affirmed the management in their persuasion that they have chosen the right guy.
Recognition
- In meetings, are there people who are always trying to hijack them, not allowing anyone else to speak and sharing only their views, however irrelevant these may be?
- At other times, do you have people that want to jump into any conversation and when they do they turn it into their own monologe about how great they are (pun intended)?
- When you are deciding something, are you given the chance to explain the situation at hand and the background behind it and then come to the solution, or is the solution picked by the ones knowledgeable and aware of all the “best practices”?
Removal
- Never allow monologues to dominate meetings. Facilitate the meetings so they are discussions, not a series of monologues. Remeber that shy and introvert people may have trouble voicing their ideas and concerns—use brainwriting or similar techniques that allow everyone to participate.
- Get all members of the group participating when facing a problem, discussing potential solutions or even in meetings and workshops. Look for people who are unusually quiet and then specifically ask them their opinion (note: you have to ask out of true curiosity, otherwise this can backfire!).
- Always look whether you have all the information needed when you are discussing certain theme. Never allow best practice to dominate the discussion—focus on context of whatever you are discussing and encourage a healthy questioning attitude).
