Tonight’s talk has been cancelled due to an unexpected learning opportunity
3 lessons for myself — and you lot too, I guess.
I woke up in an utterly dreadful mood this morning. Honestly, an absolutely horrid mood.
And it was my own fault. I was down and beaten because I had a talk to give 12 hours later and I knew, deep down, that although I’d written out my ‘script’, I just wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t ready.
For those of you out of the loop, I was supposed to talk about fear tonight. My first ever planned public talk, and at a TED Talk discussion group too. I was excited. Nervous, but excited. And I’d had plenty of time to prepare and practice.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t spent a lot of time preparing and practicing.
In my head I’d done loads of prep. In my head I’d planned a whole talk over the course of six weeks. But I’d never written it down.
When I finally put pen to paper at the start of last week — that’s very late, I know — none of the thoughts and ideas I’d had returned to me. My mind was blank, and I had to start from scratch.
Lesson №1: When you have an idea, write it down. Do not rely on yourself to remember every little thing.
I should have started to plan and prepare much, much earlier than I did, I get that. And I had plenty of time, right? If I’d started preparing six weeks ago then I’d have woken up this morning with more confidence. I’d have felt ready. I’d have been ready to tackle this talk head-on.
Well, actually, I don’t think I would have. If I’d started six weeks ago, I still wouldn’t have done enough work on the talk to be happy with it.
And that’s not because I don’t think six weeks is long enough. It’s more than long enough to prepare a five minute talk.
If you’re not committed to writing every day, that is. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m pretty committed to writing every day. I mean, I’ve pencilled in a year of this stuff. It’s not a short-term project.
Which means that, for a year, I’ve committed to already saying no to a lot of things. That becomes especially true now that I have a full-time job.
Lesson №2: You can’t say yes to everything. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Prioritise your time and delegate it appropriately.
So, this morning at 7:40 Craig text me, and I dropped him a call.
And we spoke.
He asked how much opportunity I’d have today to practice my talk. To speak it out loud.
I said none.
He said hmm
Long story short, we both agreed that forcing my talk to go ahead just wouldn’t work, and could even harm the quality of the event. So, we cancelled my segment.
It felt as if a huge weight had lifted. My mood improved, I felt less tired and I was ready for the day ahead.
It was a disappointing decision to make, but I know myself well enough to be sure I made the right choice. I just wasn’t ready to speak publicly.
Lesson №3: Never be afraid to backtrack and admit you made a wrong move. People will appreciate honesty over a cover-up.
Am I a bit gutted my talk didn’t go ahead? Sure.
Do I feel as if I let Craig down a bit? Absolutely.
Do I feel as if I let myself down? Obviously.
But those are natural reactions to a backwards step, and I get that. I haven’t lost focus, I haven’t lost patience, I’m still heading in the direction I want to go.
I just need to be more patient.
For now, daily blogs are my priority. I have plenty of time for everything else.
