Swinging 101: Hotel Takeovers
A hotel full of swingers — what it’s actually like
Recently, my husband and I returned from a Swingers hotel takeover. What is a hotel takeover? Basically, a group that hosts Lifestyle parties and events, books the entire hotel for a weekend and only other swingers are allowed to rent rooms. The event is usually totally closed to the public! Sometimes the weekend is exclusively for partying and mingling with other swingers, but most of the time, there are seminars, demonstrations and other social mixers involved. It really depends if the event is for one or two nights.
What is it like to attend a hotel takeover? How is a hotel takeover different than a meet and greet or a house party? What really happens behind those closed hotel doors? Is it a free for all orgy for two days straight?
Let me enlighten you…
Arrival
Each hotel takeover is slightly different from the next. Some take place in huge cities such as New Orleans, Las Vegas or Montreal, while others are held on the outskirts of semi-large cities, a little off the beaten path. The latter are the kind that we like to attend, mostly, because they are easier to get to and not usually too terribly far from home. Plus, we find the people that attend these tend to be our speed.
We live outside of Toronto, so we are in a great area to attend events within a six hour radius in both the United States and Canada. We’ve been to events in the Hudson Valley, outside of Detroit, in Ottawa, and even as far as New Jersey. It really depends on how far you are willing to and able to travel!
When you arrive at a hotel takeover, there is usually a registration process. The host group will want to verify that you really are who you say you are. Many events will ask that you wear a wristband or lanyard for the entirety of the weekend, simply so that others know you are really supposed to be there. The rest of the hotel check-in is similar to any other traditional check-in experience.
Once you have your room and you’ve gotten settled in, you should have been given an agenda of events for the night or weekend. If you have any friends that are also at the event, this is usually a good time to reach out to them and maybe meetup before the events kickoff.
Activities
Every hotel takeover is different than the one before it. Each host group plans things their own way and has used previous feedback to mix things up from their other events. Some takeovers are marketed for specific swinger group niches — such as bisexual couples, those that are into kink, or couples of a certain age group. However, in general, most takeovers are sold as for all swingers in general.
Activities can vary in both size and depth. Some examples of events we’ve attended at different takeovers are: meet and greet mixers at the hotel bar, themed dance parties, seminars on different swinger topics (communication, advice, etc.), kink demonstrations, speed dating, pool parties, etc. Host groups try to keep things fun and light. The whole idea of a hotel takeover weekend is to bring couples together for a weekend of sharing, bonding and simply having an enjoyable time. Being around other swingers is like nothing else. It’s a unique group of people and having the chance to be around 25, 100, 200 other swinger couples is like nothing else!
Orgies, anyone?
Now, you might be reading this, thinking to yourself that the whole thing must be a nonstop orgy, right? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but in our experience, that is not usually the case. In fact, there isn’t really as much sex being had as you’d expect. For example, we’ve been to 5 hotel takeovers of various size and varieties, and we’ve only played at two of them. There are a variety of reasons for this. Mostly, timing and comfort play a big part.
We have gone to hotel takeovers with friends, and not played. We have flown solo to hotel takeovers and ended up hitting it off with a random couple and played all night long. With each event being a stand alone, unique experience, it really depends on who is at the hotel takeover, the overall feel of the event, and if the opportunity presents itself or not.
I will not say that orgies don’t happen at these types of event. But, in my experienced swinger opinion, they are usually planned out ahead of time. A group of friends will attend a takeover together and end up back at one of their rooms after a night of dancing, mingling and drinking. A new couple or two might join into the mix, but not typically. And, I hate to break it to you, but usually if an orgy is happening, it’s behind close doors. You’d be surprised by the amount of privacy most people want with this type of thing. I know as a woman, I don’t really like a bunch of strangers watching me have sex with friends at some random hotel party. But, that’s just me.
Some Other Things to Know
Hotel takeovers are a great time to get away from boring everyday life and be around people that participate in the same secret club as you. You should attend these events with an open mind and shake as many hands as possible. For us, we love putting faces to screen names or simply sharing our own swing stories with couples from all aspects of life. We’ve walked away from these chats with little nuggets of gold advice that we can use in our own swing journey.
- On big piece of advice? Bring snacks and drinks with you! Usually hotel takeovers don’t feed you! We’ve seen some snacks put out during bigger events or during after hours pool parties, etc. But, don’t rely on this! Also, if you don’t want to leave the hotel, order from GrubHub or other food delivery apps. We’ve seen too many couples go super hard with the drinking early on, not eating, and by the end of the night they are so sloppy nobody even wants to be around them. Pace yourself!
- Some groups will offer fun prizes for things like “Best Decorated Door” or “Best Costume” at a themed party! These are really fun to participate in and offer a chance to show your creative side. However, don’t feel like this is mandatory either!
- Like with any swinger event or meet up, go into a hotel takeover with ZERO expectations! Look at it as a fun night or two away, with your spouse, and maybe a few new or old friends. If you walk away having learned one thing, or laughed, take that as a win. Don’t force the thought that if you don’t play, that you are missing out! Let things happen naturally. If you only end up having sex with your spouse at the end of the weekend, that’s okay, too. You should never try to make something happen that just isn’t. The last thing you want is to walk away from a hotel takeover with regret of having done something you didn’t really to do!
- Not all hotel takeovers are the same! Try events from different groups, and find out what you like or dislike about each of them. Maybe you prefer more intimate takeovers at small boutique hotels? Maybe you like the party scene of another? When possible, branch out and go to different ones. Also, ask other trusted swingers which events they’ve attended and liked/disliked and their reasoning as to why.
- Lastly, and perhaps mostly importantly, be respectful of the hotel itself. Remember that the host group worked hard to get the hotel to agree to an entire hotel full of swingers for a night or two! Yes, it’s business for them, but we are not their normal clientele (at least in mass amounts). Clean up after yourself! Don’t trash your hotel room! Treat the hotel staff with kindness and respect. Remember that they will report back to the host group any rooms or behavior that is awful, and you will be banned from attending future events. Tipping is always encouraged!
Hotel takeovers are a lot of fun! They are more in-depth than house parties and meet and greets, but don’t require the planning or added cost of going to a Lifestyle resort. Usually, you can find one within a reasonable driving range from your home, too!
They provide couples with a chance to meet new people, spend sexy time with old friends and to learn a thing or two about being a good swinger. They are the perfect chance to let loose, have fun and get recharged for regular vanilla life again. Just be sure to follow the standard rules of operation, don’t overdue the alcohol/drugs and don’t set unrealistic goals for you and your spouse. If you follow these simple steps, you should walk away from the experience with a smile on your face.
© Keeva Black, 2022. All rights reserved.
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