6 Life Lessons From Breastfeeding
This job doesn’t pay but it gives you a whole lot else
Pictures of women smiling as they feed their little ones.
Women pumping effortlessly in their offices while they work just a few weeks after giving birth (yes — I binge watched Working Moms in my early days of postpartum)
Basically everything that made breastfeeding seem like the most natural thing in the world.
Natural? Yes. Easy? No.
I have worked ever since I was 19 and as a consequence worked at a myriad of jobs. But this has been the hardest one so far. It has taken so much out of me. But it has also given me a lot. Case in point — the below life lessons.
Know your WHY
As a certified coach by profession, I am always using the mantra — awareness before action. This basically means getting very clear on why you want to chase a goal before you jump to the pursuit.
On my hardest days of breastfeeding, it is indeed my WHY that has kept me going. I truly believe my milk is magical for my baby’s health. And so I live (to feed) another day!
That also cements my second opinion as a coach — our beliefs dictate our behaviors. Whether breast feeding is best for baby or not (I am no expert), this is my personal belief and thus I behave in a way to push myself to keep doing it.
This is what it means when its said, our reality is first formed in our mind.
No two days are the same
Some days my supply fills the bottle in one sitting and on other days I am staring at every drop trickling down (ironically today), hoping there’s just a little more so I don’t fall short.
But each time my supply plummets, it finds its way back up in a day or two (and sometimes longer).
The point is as long as you don’t give up on the bad days, a good day is bound to show up eventually!
And there is peace in the acceptance that no two days will indeed look the same. So its okay if some days you crush it at productivity by the minute and on others its hard to just get out of bed.
Some days we’ll thrive, and on some we’ll survive.
The more you nurse, the better your supply gets
The cardinal law of breastfeeding is that demand creates supply. Basically the more time your baby spends at the breast, the more milk you begin to create.
They say it is your baby signaling to your body — I want more milk.
And I can’t help but think the Universe works in the same way.
If we keep practicing something and don’t stop until we have it, we are pretty much telling the Universe — I want this.
Also goes to show, if we keep practicing something, we are bound to get at least decent at it.
Comparison is the thief of joy
A close friend has an over supply. Her baby would nurse for only 10 minutes (in comparison to my 30 minutes each session). And during the pump of the day she would get double the supply I produced in half the time!
I did have moments (especially when her whole day didn't seem to be spent feeding) where I thought — not fair!
But then I spoke to women who weren’t able to feed at all because of a bad latch or no supply at all and the many other exhausting reasons that prevent women from breastfeeding.
Basically, no two women are the same. No two babies are the same. No two circumstances are the same.
And so I chose to stay focused on my own lane. And I think we could all benefit from doing just that in this ‘what is she up to Instagram world’.
Making the journey fun!
Over time, during some feeds, I did begin to look like those pictures I’d seen. Smiling at my baby as I fed.
Initially when my baby couldn’t see as yet, I’d watch an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S (or Working Moms) as I nursed to lift my spirits. Then there were days I’d scroll on social media (that didn’t work very well and I kept cursing myself for keeping my phone close to baby — mom guilt is real). That’s when I replaced my phone with my Kindle and it worked like a charm. I read 2 books a week most weeks! Then there were feeds where I spoke to my baby (some times boring tales of my day were shared but some days we did a gratitude list together). Some days I also sang to him (I’m not a singer but that’s one of the amazing things about babies — they look at you like you’re the best at anything crappy you do.)
In a nutshell — I made the process fun for myself.
Goals aren’t usually easy. It takes time to reach the destination and we spend so little time there. Most of the time is spent in the journey itself. So it helps to find ways to enjoy it, doesn’t it?
Back up plans are not a sign of weakness
As I mentioned above, I’m not an over supplier. And my baby came with a good appetite (His papa’s son after all ;))
And so, initially I struggled with supply. I had to do what they call triple feeding. I would nurse for 30 minutes. Then pump for 20 minutes. And my baby would take the bottle after every feed. And if he still wasn’t satisfied, I would give him a little formula milk on top.
The formula I used was low in quantity and after the first forty days, I didn’t use it at all. But I still have an unopened box in the drawer. It doesn’t make me want to use it. On the contrary, it makes me want to not use it. But it also gives me the peace of mind that my baby won’t go hungry if I ever need it in an emergency.
We talk a lot about going all in. For example we tell people (especially nowadays) to quit their 9–5 immediately and chase a dream. And yes that may work for some. But others may need to build alongside the security of a paycheck and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Playing it safe is not a weakness.
…………………………………..
My breastfeeding journey is not over yet.
Yet again, I’m entering the next level — getting back to work.
Feeding by itself was a full-time job and now I’m going back to my pre-baby full-time job.
What will this mean for breastfeeding? I don’t know.
But I do know there are more lessons there waiting to be learned.
Until next time.
