6 Sexist & Dangerous Myths Women Need To Stop Believing
Pay close attention to #6, that’s a trap difficult to get out of
Last Sunday was an idle ‘I want to waste my life away binge-watching Netflix’ kind of day. I watched three movie star interviews back-to-back. The three women spoke the same tommy rot when asked about their childhood. “Growing up I was a tomboy. One of the boys.” Really? Did they get their lines from the same B-Grade writer, the one with the tomboy fetish?
I’ve had an existential crisis since age 10. So, I admire people who are sure about who they are when young. But this seemed like bad smelling shit with a sexist ring to it.
Why did it bother me so much? Here’s why. These were some of the most desirable women on the planet. Yet they couldn’t own their femininity. They were proud of their childhood ‘tomboy status’. It looked like casual sexism, so I did what I do best. Research & write an article about the 6 dangerous myths women believe. These myths take away your agency & keep you further from economic (and emotional) freedom.
1. Women have to be manly to survive a world of men
A tale as old as time. The time our ancestors lived in caves & social media wasn’t around to keep them woke. Men, the protectors. Women, the protected. No surprises that our cave dweller lady gang liked the Company of the strongest males in the tribe. Machoism was cool because it kept them alive.
Jump to post-modern post-feminist times. Women aren’t ‘protected’ anymore. The arena is open. Men, women & everyone in between jockey for space in the race to ‘make it’.
But the mindset persists that the feminine is weak. So, you hide your womanliness to defeat them at their game.
This doesn’t work sweetie. For one you can’t play the game well since you are faking it. Second, let’s call out the BS. Manly isn’t cool anymore. Except in ‘Save the Alpha Male’ movements & groups. In (Human) Resources uses jargon to tell us what the cool boys (and girls) club is playing to win. Your ‘core competencies’ need to align with their ‘Corporate culture’ looks like.
Turns out, you as a woman had the edge all along. Those things about you that you hid to appear strong. Those are now known as skills in demand. Collaboration, teamwork, trust & agility. You get the drift. It’s a no brainer. Whether you slave at a Corporate Job or boss yourself around, this you need to know. You can clinch opportunities only by bringing your whole self to the table.
2. Popular (and successful) women are mean to other women
This belief dates back to Hollywood maybe? Well at least the movies gave it glam. I hate this myth so much I devoted an entire article to it.
It’s an old trick. Pit people against each other so they will be too busy to notice your climb up the ladder. Middle income against middle income. Employee against boss (both employees). Women against women. This is how the exclusive club maintains status quo.
How do I know women have been brainwashed into this belief cult? When I hear them say:
- the female boss is worse than a male boss
- a woman would never support another woman at work
- women would do anything to join the boys at the big table
- and the classic: a woman is a woman’s worst enemy
For crying out loud. Do you know which opportunity this belief denies you? The opportunity to get a female mentor; an advocate for you & your work. She could take you 10X times faster to your goal.
Here is my story. Circa 2021. I was running an early -stage venture. To up my game I joined a cohort which mentored start-ups. In the cohort, we had the option to pitch before a jury. A lady jury member encouraged me to give a shot at pitching. I did & lost to competition. Was it all over? Turns out that was the beginning. Couple of days later, the same jury lady called. To take a chance on me & invest in my start up. Her objective? Encourage women entrepreneurs.
This is what not being a dick (no apologies for the pun) & loving other women’s success will get you.
3. Women are jealous of other women
Some variety here. Rather than believe other women are out to roast you for the fun of it, you believe they are envious of amazing you.
I’ve seen men get possessed by jealousy. I’ve seen women getting equally possessed. Jealousy is not a gender specific emotion. It’s like this. When you believe resources are scarce, you think others’ success stories come at the cost of yours. Jealousy is a side effect. If you believe in abundance others’ success means an opportunity for you to grow.
Tell me again what the green-eyed monster has to do with gender?
Shitloads of drama is what you get. You obsess over other women envying your perfect life. You miss chances to connect, dream & grow together. Women at the top are always reaching out to pull up women below. But you can be rest assured sister, your hand is not what they gonna grab!
4. My Corporate job makes me more money, the harder & longer I work.
Want to hear the truth naked & dirty? Corporate culture is akin to slavery. Minus the handcuffs &whips of course. They call those carrots & sticks these days. Though I prefer to think of them as sticks and sticks, but that’s just me. Big business is a well- oiled machine which profits on a single premise- leverage. Business owners buy labor (from people like you) to mass produce. The cheaper the labor the more the profit. This means the more work they can extract from a single unit of labor (you), the more profits they make.
Here’s the fact amigo. Leverage means while they welcome your hard work, they get stingy with the money. What can you do to actually earn more? Free up your time by saying ‘NO’ to wrong opportunities at work. Use the extra time to side hustle.
5. My work speaks for itself
This is downright hilarious. Work with a voice of its own? But the belief endures. Studies have repeatedly revealed that women speak up less about their genuine accomplishments than men. It’s those damn socio-cultural factors that are the culprit!
People are assaulted with sensory stimuli. Round the goddam clock. So, everyone is attuned to tune out as much as possible. Amidst the crowd that wants to be heard if you don’t make some noise, you might well be dead!
This is what you might be missing on- Those who ask their worth at every job they’ve ever worked at draw 30–50% more salary than those like you who don’t!
6. I have to use underhand tactics to get what I want
The biggest mistake you make as a woman? You become a ‘good woman’ eager to please. You are too eager to accept the first number a client quotes. Or the salary (In) Human Resources offers hoping you’ll bite the bait. After a while reality bites. Three months into the job you see a colleague walk away with more.
Seeing others consistently outperform you can be demoralizing. You fall into another & worse trap. You believe the World is against you. So, you either have to use underhand tactics to win OR stay true to your Ethics & lose. Nothing could be further from the truth. The ‘either/or’ scenario exists in your mind. And your mind alone. The a*&holes & unethical pr*&%s know the truth. They are just too lazy to accept it. You have to be both to get what you want. Ethical & a great negotiator. Find your Integrity to ask your worth instead.
