Ambition is not a bad word
Unless you are a woman
I consider myself an ambitious person. I have goals that I break up into smaller, achievable chunks, getting that dopamine hit by crossing it off my list, another accomplishment fulfilled. Then I set the next one.
As I didn’t implicate anyone in my goal setting or getting, I was always taken aback by the tone one would use when saying “ambitious” concerning me.
My quest for the next goal post was met with animosity and disdain in my past relationships. I can only assume that they felt threatened when they said I was never happy. As if my personal goals were in direct conflict with our relationship goals. As it turns out…
Fast forward several years, living a different life, I spot a blush pink t-shirt with the words, Ambitious Woman, across the front in a whimsical cursive white font, and in my size! A perfect addition to my closet for the Fun Shirt Fridays I had started with my former work group. SOLD!
And the crowd went wild
In ways, I never expected mind you. Every time I wore that shirt, I was participating in a social experiment. Impressions were divided.
Strangers would grin, point and compliment the shirt. Mostly other women. Friends also loved it. My colleagues however were mixed. Some seemed rather dismissive and declared it didn’t fit the Fun criteria.
Some didn’t say a word while others seemed intimidated by this shirt's sentiment.
A few were quite vexed and it showed in the tone of their voice as they icily read “Ambitious Woman” with a curl of their lip. Rather an aggressive reaction to such a benign shirt, I thought.
I wondered which idea about me was more offensive to them. “Ambitious” or “woman” or was it the audacity I had in being both?
Oddly, I got called intimidating and touted as “typical type A”. I can assure you that I am neither. All types of people make goals for themselves, including men and I don’t recall ever having that descriptor be challenged for a man. Their drive is admirable.
But for women…
There is a negative connotation to the word ambition, synonymous with conniving and manipulating.
Why yes I am a Slytherin, thanks for asking!
All kidding aside, ambition has been loosely linked with symptoms of trauma responses (coupled with people pleasing, besties with perfectionism), prominently in women. Admittedly, I continuously battle against a fear of failure. Don’t we all?
Ambition is often seen in direct opposition to contentment but I don’t believe the two ideals are mutually exclusive. Whether at work, in my personal life or in relationships, I am very content with my lot in life. I also have an ongoing desire to learn and strive to accomplish things I want to do. I am living in balance.
Ambition is not a bad word
As I see it, goals are stepping stones on your path. Ambition is the walk-through…whether taken as a stroll, a jump, a leap or a sprint is a personal choice.
I own the shirt. I own the “label”. Unapologetically.
I couldn’t brag about this shirt without telling you where to get one. I have not affiliated with BBX, I’m just a satisfied shopper. I still wear mine.
