Dear Survivors, We Need To Stop Victim-Blaming

A brief reminder to my beloved community.

Alexandria Roswick
Modern Women

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Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

Hello, there. It’s been a while since I last wrote you.

Writing about trauma can bring us to dark and scary mental spaces. Breaks are necessary, and I still need more time, but I felt compelled to come back for a moment. There’s something that’s been eating away at my heart, haunting me, over and over again, as I consume media detailing one tragedy after the other, day after day.

Old patriarchal habits refuse to die hard.

I’ve sat back for years “post #MeToo” and observed something treacherous within the survivor community discourse. We’re still choosing to defend abusers. We’re still doubting accusers out loud. And we’re hurling insults at those who see things differently instead of seeking to understand.

We’re spreading more abuse.

We survivors never intend to victim-blame. Of course, not. Never. However, the impact of a behavior is always far more important than the intention. What is it that the road to hell is paved with, again?

I don’t know about you all, but I didn’t respond politely to my abuse. Sure, there were moments when I froze and fawned as monsters built fictional realities around me like unbreakable…

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Alexandria Roswick
Modern Women

Top Writer in Feminism. Blogger for Say It Loud Space (UK). Trauma, relationships, and analysis of media and culture. https://linktr.ee/alexandriaroswick