Do I Dislike Men?
Well it depends
I’ve written a few essays relating to the modern woman’s experience regarding dating, relationships etc.
Whilst I’ve gotten some support for my ideas. My stories have unsparingly drawn the manosphere-type men out of the woodwork. Some say I share my thoughts the way I do because I probably dislike men.
Okay let's put this accusation to rest, shall we?
Yes, I dislike men, and no I don’t.
If he’s
Emotionally mature, not lazy, not gaslighting, financially responsible, not abusing my financial resources, respectful of my time, appreciative of my emotional labour, doesn't see me as a piece of meat, doesn’t see me as an object he can mould according to his will, responsible for his responsibilities, doesn't think my world revolves around him, gentle and strong when he needs to be, working on his self-awareness, non-narcissistic, and considerate of women in general. Then NO I don’t dislike men. I say bring it on any day.
However, if he’s
A dirtbag has the emotional maturity of a two-year-old (no disrespect to 2-year-olds), lazy as f**k, manipulative, aggressive in words and actions, eyeing my bank account constantly, believes women are the cause of all his problems, doesn't understand the meaning of healthy space, boundaries don’t exist in his vocabulary, tit-for-tatty, has the self-awareness of rock (no offence to rocks), gaslighting until the cows come home, whiny as f**k, financially irresponsible, confusing me as his maid instead of a girlfriend, and….you get the gist. Then hell yeah I dislike men.
I’m living in my truth, get over it
Why do women have to be nice girls always? Even when we have been used and abused, and emotionally twisted into a pretzel. We have to get over it. Rushing to the next man, to help him heal his heart.
So he can finally be emotionally available to us. I say WTF? This good-girl-never-complaining-a day-in-her-life narrative needs to be buried alive.
Everyone, not just women should be allowed some space to express their disillusions and disappointments in life. I feel this movement of emotional energy is a healing thing. I’m a healer, and know too well, that long-term pent-up energy is never a good thing for health.
I’m writing from a female perspective
I can only share my female lived experience. I don’t know the full milieu of thoughts and perceptions going through a man’s mind. I’m not a man. I’m a woman, and can mostly relate from a female-only perspective. I can’t be a superhero for men, because I’m not a man. I don’t understand all the nuances that come from the lived male experience.
Hence why I speak mostly to women. If women have had bad experiences in relationships it's only reasonable to be cautious of suspected douchebags. There is no shame in owning that we are angry or suspicious of male intentions. It’s a pure survival thing, and I would say an intelligent thing.
Can men stop policing women’s emotional responses to bad situations? No one made anyone the Director of emotional affairs! If a man were treated like a piece of trash by many women, I would be the first to advocate that he threads the relationship waters carefully, holding a distrust for most women, until proven otherwise. To guard his tender heart. I’m a mother to a male child, so I don’t point blank hate males.
I crave a world where women are treated with the wholesomeness and nurturance they deserve. That everyone deserves. So I urge all the men calling feminist-leaning women a man-hater, don’t be quick to label people, when the depth of their pain, is unknown.
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Some more outraging essays
