Do Men Truly Embrace the Independent Woman?
Unveiling the Truth: Do Men Really Dig the Independent Woman? Let’s Find Out!
In my recent post, I raised an open question about whether men genuinely appreciate an independent woman. However, the responses I received were not exactly what I had hoped for.
Instead, they made me ponder on the fact that many men misunderstood the essence of independence, offering excuses and perpetuating misconceptions. Some claimed that women who are strong and independent are not interested in strong and independent men (a humorous notion, indeed).
What many fail to comprehend is that being an independent woman is not about competition; it’s about seeking equality. Numerous women have no choice but to rely on themselves due to various circumstances.
Some lacked positive role models, while others experienced heartbreak and betrayal. Their decision to be independent stems from resilience and strength, not from a desire to compete or any feminist agenda.
Personally, I consider myself an independent woman out of necessity. I don’t have the luxury to simply trust and follow every person I meet. However, the lack of effective communication between men and women often stems from a failure to truly listen to each other. We tend to hold preconceived notions and miss the signs and words the other sex is trying to convey.
I recall reading an article on Business Insider a few years ago, stating that husbands are more likely to cheat when their wives out-earn them. Isn’t that thought-provoking? It was not long ago that women gained the right to vote, marking a significant step towards equality.
If you are a millennial like me, you may have witnessed the traditional relationships of our parents, where the father was the breadwinner and the mother devoted herself to the household and children. Change is happening rapidly, and our minds may struggle to adapt to these transformations.
I don’t believe that men dislike independent women; it’s just that they are not accustomed to them. From my experiences, I have encountered many young men who are feminists, supportive, and find strong, independent women incredibly attractive. In my last relationship, which lasted for five years, my younger ex-boyfriend fully embraced gender equality.
Despite earning less, he was open to the idea of being a stay-at-home dad while pursuing freelance projects aligned with his interests. He respected and supported me because he grew up with a strong woman as his role model.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, our lives took an unexpected turn. Both my ex-boyfriend and I lost our jobs, adding to the mounting uncertainty. His particular concern stemmed from his work in the event industry, which had been severely impacted.
Meanwhile, after six months of searching, I managed to secure a new job, bringing a glimmer of stability to our situation. In light of my own experiences with a partner who disregarded my academic achievements and pressured me to settle for any job available, I understood the importance of providing unwavering support.
Interestingly, amidst the pandemic, we formed a close bond with a friend who happened to be a professional basketball player, traversing different parts of Asia and enjoying financial success.
He was dating a woman from a wealthy background, working as a trader in finance. Surprisingly, despite their seemingly desirable circumstances, we could sense his deep dissatisfaction. Yet, he recognized that it was his own exit strategy, prompting reflection on his own choices and priorities.
To my surprise, my ex-boyfriend cited our friend’s example as someone he did not want to become if I were to financially support both of us. It struck me as absurd. I couldn’t understand why it was deemed acceptable for him to support me in the same situation, but not the other way around. He admitted he couldn’t explain it but insisted he wouldn’t be happy in such a scenario.
In truth, I suspected that his resistance stemmed from fears of becoming like his alcoholic father, remaining idle while his wife worked tirelessly. Additionally, childhood traumas and the difficulty of breaking away from a familiar family model could contribute to his resistance or cause further emotional distress.
This question goes beyond right or wrong, black or white. It delves into deeper realms of understanding and empathy. Men, I implore you, before passing judgment or assuming competition, take the time to genuinely listen and understand why a particular woman chose independence.
Ask the right questions and create a safe space for her to open up and share her reasons. I am confident that, in doing so, your perspective will shift, enabling you to be more supportive and understanding.
Independent women are not seeking competition; we desire a partner who supports and accepts us as we are. If you feel threatened or see it as a competition, perhaps it’s time to reflect on your own insecurities and work on personal growth. So, perhaps I should rephrase my initial post: Are men truly ready to embrace the independent woman and embark on this transformative journey together?
