Embracing the Imperfect Perfection of Married Life
Love Beyond Rom-com and K-Drama
I recently finished watching the popular Netflix Korean drama "Crash Landing on You." For about two weeks, I was completely absorbed in the riveting story of a South Korean heiress who accidentally lands in North Korea and falls in love with a North Korean army captain. I was rooting for the main characters while also developing a secret crush on the actor who played Captain Ri, Hyun Bin.
The character was well-written and well-cast: a strong and silent type with a tragic backstory. The actor, standing at 1.85m, looked great in uniform. With gunfights and the ability to play the piano, he manages to be masculine yet sensitive all at once. Of course, I was smitten.
After the closing credits, I turned around to look wistfully at my husband of 8 years. That 6-foot-tall man I have vowed to be with in sickness and health was wearing his favourite torn track pants. Sitting in his gaming chair, he was summoning imaginary healers and looting virtual gold. No suave officer here, that's for sure.
I thought to myself: "What a man!"
During my battle with Influenza A a few months back, I found myself bedbound and feeling helpless. But this balding dad and IT business analyst took care of me and made sure I was well-hydrated and well-fed, all while managing our energetic toddler.
It's not just during my illness. Even during our daily commute, he always had a spare train fare card ready for me, knowing my tendency to misplace mine. In my toughest moments of dealing with depression, he gave me the space I needed, yet ensured that everything was taken care of.
His support has been my lifeline.
It's funny how I used to perceive relationships as they were portrayed in Korean dramas and rom-coms — all beautiful and perfect. But now, looking at the man I've been with since my early 20s, I realise real love is much more profound and meaningful. Rather than yearning for a fictional, idealised version of a man, my leading man is right in front of me. We are the authors of our own story.
Maybe our life together is my own version of a romance K-drama, just with a lot more laundry, parenting challenges, bills and wrinkles!
I’m a Melbourne-based digital designer, web developer, and podcaster at Sincere Copy. When I’m not working on my business, I document my musings about motherhood, work and wellness on my namesake website https://samanthachua.com.
